Playing video games is one of the cheapest sources of entertainment for children. Some people say playing video games is good for children, while others believe that it can be harmful to them. Write an essay to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children.

Nowadays,
video
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games
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are famous among
the
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apply
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children around the world because of their vivid UI design and
gamify
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gamified
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content. In
this
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circumstance, some people believe that
video
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games
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are beneficial to youngers
while
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others argue that those electronic
games
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affects
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affect
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young users' lives. In my view, the disadvantages of digital
games
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outweight
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outweigh
the advantages of that.
Video
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games
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have the tendency of harming
youngers'
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youngsters'
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health and
lives
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life
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quality. Once users start using digital devices to play
games
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, their attention
are
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is
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highly focused on it, which concludes that their
body
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bodies
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get exhausted.
For example
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,
according to
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the
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apply
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medical research, people who use digital tools for a long
time
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,
espeacially
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especially
under great pressure, have
larger
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a larger
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possibilities
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possibility
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to get
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of getting
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short-sighted
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short-sightedness
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and pain in
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the muscle
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muscle
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muscles
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. The children are still in the process of growing in their
body
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bodies
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, which means
video
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games
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would have
extreme harm
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extremely harmful
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affect on them. Meanwhile, if pupils spend
time
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on
video
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games
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and get tired, their learning efficiency will reduced,
then
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leads to worse grades and
this
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even attacks
confidence
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the confidence
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of pupils. As for the advantages of
video
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games
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, it is about
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this
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they
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can enhance the
flexibilities
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flexibility
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and
in
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in-time
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time
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reactions of human brains.
The
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Video
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video
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games
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always need instant feedback and
good
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a good
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level of
hands
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hand
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and
brains
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brain
show examples
correlations. Users should have higher stages of these abilities to update their
account
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accounts
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.
For instance
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, research finds that students who play
video
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games
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could better absorb
the
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apply
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new knowledge. In
this
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case, children's cognitive level would enhance to
benefits
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benefit
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their future study. All in all, there are evident shortcomings of playing
video
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games
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whereas
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some great
affects
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effects
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are emerged at the same
time
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. The adults should know each of these two sides to properly lead kids
stay
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to stay
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healthy and
using
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use
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the
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apply
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video
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games
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to make progress in their future lives.

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task achievement
Clarify your position in the introduction by clearly stating whether you believe the advantages or disadvantages are more significant. This will help guide your essay's focus.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Expand on your examples to make them more specific and relevant. For instance, citing particular studies or statistics can strengthen your argument regarding health impacts and learning outcomes.
coherence and cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to reduce inaccuracies. For example, phrases like 'the disadvantages of digital games outweight the advantages' should be 'outweigh' instead, and using more varied sentence structures can improve the overall fluency.
task achievement
You have successfully mentioned both advantages and disadvantages of video games, which shows your ability to discuss the topic from multiple perspectives.
task achievement
Your use of examples to support your points, such as the effects of video games on learning efficiency, demonstrates a good level of understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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