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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line chart below shows the results of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line chart below shows the results of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The data illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of residents who moved to the capital city of a given nation divided by four reasons namely, employment, study, family/
friends
Use synonyms
, and adventure from 2000 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the top two reasons why people relocated were for a career and for an education
whereas
Linking Words
 there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
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much less change in the remaining two: family/
friends
Use synonyms
 and adventure. In 2000, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 for a profession started at 60000, which was more than twice that of
the
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apply
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educational
Use synonyms
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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, reaching its peak at a little over 9000 in 2010. After that,
this
Linking Words
reason
Use synonyms
 experienced a slight decline in 2015.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the figure for an educational
reason
Use synonyms
 stood at 25000 at the beginning, after increasing constantly, it peaked at 60000, which was the same
number
Use synonyms
 as that
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
career
Use synonyms
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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. Regarding the remaining two, the figure for both the reasons, for family/
friends
Use synonyms
 and for adventure, started at roughly 10000 and both of them kept
leveling
Change the spelling
levelling
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 off until 2005.
However
Linking Words
, after the period of stability, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family/
friends
Use synonyms
reason
Use synonyms
 saw a slight increase in 2010 and ended up at 22500.
By contrast
Linking Words
, throughout the period of 15 years, the adventurous
reason
Use synonyms
 showed marginal growth.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, friends, reason with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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