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Band 5.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
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The line chart illustrates data about the
rate
Use synonyms
 of people living in cities with four different regions during 50
years
Use synonyms
 from 1970 ,
consequently
Linking Words
 , having the figures to predict for 2030 and 2040 . The key point to note
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 the percentage of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 living in the urban in Malaysia and Indonesia always increased significantly ,
in contrast
Linking Words
 Philippines and Thailand general did not change throughout 50
years
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. In 1970 , the figure
of
Change preposition
for
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 people in
Correct article usage
the
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Philippines was on top at 31
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percent
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per cent
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
 it continued
jumped
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to jump
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 significantly but dropped slightly
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 56
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2000 . The
rate
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 of
population
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 in Thailand
start
Wrong verb form
started
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 low top ,
Linking Words
however
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however,
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 it increased slightly between 1970 and 2000 with 19
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and 29
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively . In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Malaysia , in 1970 the
rate
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 of people living
on
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in
show examples
 cities stayed at 30
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percent
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per cent
show examples
 and after 50
years
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 it doubled immediately to 60
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In
Indonesia
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Indonesia,
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 the percentage of
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population
Add an article
the population
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 changed a little from
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
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rate
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at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 14
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 28
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
during
Change preposition
over
show examples
 50
years
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 . From 2000 to 2020 Malaysia was
alway
Correct your spelling
always
in
Change preposition
apply
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first with
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
Change preposition
of
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over 10
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
than
Change preposition
to
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 10
years
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 before and was predicted continued jumped . In Thailand , the
rate
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 of
population
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 increased slightly
about
Change preposition
by about
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 5
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
by
Linking Words
contrast
Add the comma(s)
contrast,
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 was guessed jumped a lot . In Indonesia , it significantly doubled than 10
years
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 ago and it will continue
jumped
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to jump
show examples
,
however
Linking Words
 Philippines
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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dropped about 6
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
for
Change preposition
over
show examples
 10
years
Use synonyms
 and will be predicted
jumped
Change the verb form
to jump
show examples
 again in the future .

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, years, population, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "jumped" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
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