IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think student should only study subjects that will help them to get a job others leave student should be free to choose subject they enjoy discussed both views and give your opinion

Some would argue that
learners
Use synonyms
 should only
study
Use synonyms
 topics that can prevent a job.
While
Linking Words
 others think
students
Use synonyms
 should
study
Use synonyms
 something that they like . I believe that everyone should follow what they like in life. On the one hand, people who believe that
learners
Use synonyms
 have to choose courses that could guarantee their future for them. They think if you
study
Use synonyms
 something that will not secure your future is a waste of time and money. And because of
this
Linking Words
mindset
Add a comma
mindset,
show examples
 a lot of people sign up for medicine and engineering.
As a result
Linking Words
 of that a lot of
learners
Use synonyms
 suffer from depression and they
ended
Wrong verb form
end
show examples
 up dropping out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 university.
For example
Linking Words
, many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
families force their children to become doctors, but many of these
students
Use synonyms
 end up dropping
up
Change preposition
out
show examples
 of college because they are studying something that does not align with their true interests or career path.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that learning something that does not represent your
intereste
Correct your spelling
interests
interest
 can lead to mental health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, learning something that you love can have a positive impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 your life. When
students
Use synonyms
study
Use synonyms
subject
Add an article
a subject
the subject
show examples
 they're passionate about their creativity soars, and they avoid
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of motivation or feelings of
depressing
Replace the word
depression
show examples
 because they can envision a future in that field.
For example
Linking Words
, In Saudi Arabia, they give a test for
learners
Use synonyms
 in high school to make
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 choose the right path for themselves.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that choosing the right path without thinking about money is the right way. In conclusion,
students
Use synonyms
 should choose subjects based on their passions and strengths. When people follow what they truly love, they are more likely to succeed both personally and professionally.

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task achievement
Ensure that all viewpoints are explored in more depth, and strengthen your arguments with more varied examples and clearer explanations of their relevance.
coherence and cohesion
Improve transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay. Consider using linking words to connect thoughts more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread for minor inaccuracies in grammar and word choice to enhance clarity and professionalism in your writing.
task achievement
You have clearly expressed your opinion in the essay, which is important for both task response and coherence.
task achievement
You addressed both views, which shows a good understanding of the topic and contributes to a balanced discussion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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