IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

13. Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process to. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

A
company
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 may have the best product, the most competitive price, the best workforce and the best
managers
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, but if it lags in decision-making, it won’t
last
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 long. There is an ongoing debate regarding, some major
decisions
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 regarding the welfare of the
company
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 that should only be taken by
managers
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;
however
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, others
counter claimed
Correct your spelling
counterclaimed
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 that
,
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apply
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 the addition of employees is necessary
while
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 making some
decisions
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 for the wellness of the brand. Prior to my stance, both viewpoints would be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs with valid explanations. Discussing the former view, supporters believe that,
managers
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 are educated in management skills and trained to handle the critical task. They are in the facility to manage.
Moreover
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, decision-making is an activity which requires a precise mind and it only comes with years of experience.
Furthermore
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, confidential matters are shared only with people working in higher management. Only the top
managers
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 know the trade secrets and loopholes of a
company
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 and can handle things better.
However
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, proponents have their own opinion.
To begin
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 with, giving
a
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decision-making power to an employee is evolving. An individual who works on the same task every day, becomes a better judge and decision-maker, for that very activity.
Additionally
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, he shouldn’t have sought permission to make minor changes in his work.
For example
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, if the developer is asked to develop a website
then
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 he should be responsible for adding or deleting any features for the website.
Moreover
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, when employees are involved in the decision-making towards their daily tasks, they feel more motivated. They will come up with better ideas which will help the
company
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 to grow very rapidly. They will have a special bond with their work.
To sum up
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, having both views discussed, the best approach towards
this
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 situation is a subtle balance between the two. An individual should make
decisions
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 for their day-to-day tasks
while
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 keeping the key-level
decisions
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 for the
managers
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.

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clarity
Consider rephrasing "the addition of employees is necessary while making some decisions for the wellness of the brand" for clarity. Perhaps say, "involving employees in certain decisions can enhance the well-being of the brand."
strengthening conclusion
In your conclusion, it might be beneficial to rephrase the point about the balance more firmly. You could say, "Ultimately, both managers and employees should participate in decision-making, with clear distinctions between everyday operational decisions and strategic management decisions."
supporting details
Ensure to elaborate more on how the involvement of employees can lead to better outcomes to strengthen your argument further. Perhaps include an example of a company that successfully involves employees in decision-making.
balanced perspective
You’ve presented both views clearly and acknowledged the importance of balancing both perspectives, which strengthens your argument and shows critical thinking.
strong introduction
Your essay has a good introduction that lays out the points to be discussed, making it easier for readers to follow your line of reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • top-down approach
  • hierarchical structure
  • grassroots level
  • strategic planning
  • on-the-ground experience
  • inclusive management
  • employee engagement
  • democratic process
  • transparency
  • cohesion
  • morale
  • practical insights
  • long-term goals
  • mutual respect
  • resistance to change
  • team dynamics
  • broader perspective
What to do next:
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