IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In some countries it is illegal to stop people applying for a job because of their age. Is this a positive or a negative development?

The bar chart below illustrates the number of people who ate five portions of fruits and vegetables per
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
day in the United Kingdom between Men, Women and children from 2001 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, as can be
seen
Add a comma
seen,
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 women scored the highest percentages in every year. At the same time, children were the opposite that they hit a low of all lines in the whole statistics.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 every field of people
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a specific ranking.
However
Linking Words
, females
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 reached the top of the research in every
periods
Change to a singular noun
period
show examples
. They were at the same rate in the first three years by 17%.
Then
Linking Words
 , they still
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
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 until 2007 and 2008 by 27 per cent.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, males were raised to their greatest number by 36%. After that, they dropped to about 30%
at the end
Linking Words
.
Lastly
Linking Words
,

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structure
Provide a more structured conclusion that summarizes the main findings and reflects on their implications.
language
Use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance readability.
clarity
Ensure that all numerical data is clearly referenced and explained in context to improve clarity.
content
You've successfully identified key trends in the data, particularly the comparative performance of different groups.
accuracy
The overall observation about women's consumption being the highest is clear and accurate.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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