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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The (table) below shows the (sales) made by a (coffee shop) in an (office building) on a (typical weekday).

The (table) below shows the (sales) made by a (coffee shop) in an (office building) on a (typical weekday).
The table illustrates the (
sales
Use synonyms
) of (
coffee
Use synonyms
), (
tea
Use synonyms
), (
pastries
Use synonyms
), and (
sandwiches
Use synonyms
) made by a (
coffee
Use synonyms
 shop) in an (office building) during different times of a (typical weekday).
Initially
Linking Words
, during the morning period (7:30–10:30), (
coffee
Use synonyms
) and (
pastries
Use synonyms
) were the most popular, with (265) and (275) items sold respectively. (
Tea
Use synonyms
)
sales
Use synonyms
 were
also
Linking Words
 high at (110),
while
Linking Words
 (
sandwiches
Use synonyms
) were the least sold at only (50). In the late morning (10:30–14:30), (
coffee
Use synonyms
)
sales
Use synonyms
 dropped to (185), but (
sandwiches
Use synonyms
) increased significantly to (200), becoming the most popular item.
Moreover
Linking Words
, (
pastries
Use synonyms
) and (
tea
Use synonyms
) saw a decrease in
sales
Use synonyms
. In the afternoon period (14:30–17:30), all items experienced lower
sales
Use synonyms
. (
Coffee
Use synonyms
) and (
tea
Use synonyms
) were at their lowest: (145) and (35) respectively.
However
Linking Words
, (
pastries
Use synonyms
) remained relatively steady at (150).
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in the evening (17:30–20:30), (
coffee
Use synonyms
)
sales
Use synonyms
 rose again to (200), and (
sandwiches
Use synonyms
) reached (110).
In other words
Linking Words
, people preferred heavier snacks in the evening.
To sum up
Linking Words
, (
coffee
Use synonyms
) was consistently the top seller, especially in the morning and evening,
while
Linking Words
 (
sandwiches
Use synonyms
) peaked at lunchtime.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, coffee, tea, pastries, sandwiches with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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