IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

E.M. Some people believe it is best accept a bad situations such as an satisfactory job or shortage of money . Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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individuals
Change preposition
of individuals
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 ponder that it is a positive development
accept
Fix the infinitive
to accept
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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awful situations
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
inadequate
affair
Fix the agreement mistake
affairs
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 or lack of salary. Opponents genuinely believe that to
endevour
Correct your spelling
endeavour
 and augment
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
such
Linking Words
 circumstances is the best one.
This
Linking Words
 essay
pose
Change the verb form
poses
show examples
 the idea for both insights and I strive to express my own views, as well. First and foremost, currently, most of
societes
Correct your spelling
societies
society
 can possibly face unacceptable situations like rigorous discrimination in their
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, people sometimes
can
Verb problem
apply
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subject
Add a missing verb
be subject
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 to exploitation,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 in turn leads to
earn
Change the verb form
earning
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less wage
Fix the agreement mistake
lower wages
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,
in
Change preposition
apply
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ultimately. Meanwhile,
according to
Linking Words
 furthers individuals might
be faced
Wrong verb form
face
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 rival
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 or procrastination by their co-workers,
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
which
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that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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often can
estimates
Fix the agreement mistake
estimate
show examples
just negative cases, too.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, it is
obviously
Change the word
obvious
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 that from time to time possessing sinister circumstances , especially linked to
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
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 job may come in handy in terms of
afford
Wrong verb form
affording
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 someone
becomes
Verb problem
apply
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to eradicate throwback,
as well as
Linking Words
,
motivate
Wrong verb form
motivating
show examples
self-development and catering to contribute much more benefits in certain
sphera
Correct your spelling
sphere
spheres
. I
also
Linking Words
 concur with
allegation
Add an article
the allegation
an allegation
show examples
 that sometimes bad situations
indeedly
Correct your spelling
indeed
 cause to positive tendency in
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 life.
For instance
Linking Words
, individuals
particulary
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
Rephrase
particularly
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young adults aspire to stimulate and simultaneously promote themselves
due to
Linking Words
 the lowest
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
 as a whole . In conclusion , it is
fact
Add an article
the fact
a fact
show examples
 that
although
Linking Words
 unacceptable cases
cases
Remove the redundancy
apply
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can cause demotivation in
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 lving,
however
Linking Words
 ,in my perspective that might be
Correct article usage
an enermous
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enermous
Correct your spelling
enormous
 argument
argument
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
for acceleration in self-improvement.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity of your main ideas and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates back to your argument.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points in each paragraph; this will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
grammar and vocabulary
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice. Some phrases or terms can be confusing or incorrect.
task achievement
You present a balanced discussion of both perspectives, which shows an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your opinion well, reiterating the main argument effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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