IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart displays the proportion of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 that
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
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 to England and visited different sites in Brighton.
Overall
Linking Words
, what
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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stands out from the graph is that the Art Gallery and
Pavilion
Use synonyms
,
begin
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
 the
period
Use synonyms
whit
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
 a great percentage of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 and ended up with an important decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
. Activities in the Pier
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 had increases and decreases over the
period
Use synonyms
 and Festivals remained the percentage of
visitors
Use synonyms
 stable. Turning to Art Gallery and
Pavilion
Use synonyms
, The former started the
period
Use synonyms
 with almost 22% of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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, in 1985 had a peak of just under 40%,
then
Linking Words
 the proportion of people visiting went down to 20%. In 1990, the proportion of
guest
Fix the agreement mistake
guests
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 in the Art gallery dramatically decreased reaching 8% in 2010. The
later
Correct your spelling
latter
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,
begin
Wrong verb form
began
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 the
period
Use synonyms
 with just under 25% of
visitors
Use synonyms
, after that, the percentage of people visiting
Use synonyms
Pavilion
Correct article usage
the Pavilion
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 significantly picked up reaching just below 50% in 1995.
Then
Linking Words
 the activities in
Use synonyms
Pavilion
Correct article usage
the Pavilion
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 dramatically decreased to 30% of
visitors
Use synonyms
. Activities in the Pier started at 10% and after slight increases and decreases finished the
period
Use synonyms
just
Change preposition
at just
show examples
 under 20%. Festivals
begin
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
 at 30% and remained stable throughout the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pavilion, period, visitors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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