IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows how much money overseas visitors spent in the UK from 1980 - 2010 and the pie charts show the reasons for their visits in 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows how much money overseas visitors spent in the UK from 1980 - 2010 and the pie charts show the reasons for their visits in 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Both chart illustrates data regarding the amount of money foreign visitors have spent and the cause of their
visits
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
UK
Use synonyms
 between 1980 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
UK
Use synonyms
 citizens
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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spent a great chunk of their money on holidays, followed by business expenses. They had visited their loved ones more over the course of
period
Add an article
the period
a period
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. In 1980, people from
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 had spent just over 75 million on holidays, followed by business deals which is 20.7% of the total expenditure. Expenditure on visiting loved ones or relatives(18.7)
coupled with
Linking Words
 other expenses(16.6) were almost the same. In 2010, the individuals from
UK
Use synonyms
 had spent just over 105 million on holidays,
while
Linking Words
 there was a slight spike in business deals as compared to
visits
Use synonyms
 in 1980 which
22.8
Add a missing verb
was 22.8
show examples
%. The
visits
Use synonyms
 to loved ones or relatives have significantly increased which is 28.2 per cent,
while
Linking Words
 expenses on other activities have decreased as compared to
visits
Use synonyms
 in 1980 which is 9.8 per cent.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visits, uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • line graph
  • steady increase
  • fluctuations
  • overseas visitors
  • significant rise
  • primary reasons
  • pie charts
  • holiday visits
  • business trips
  • visits to friends and relatives
  • expenditure
  • travel options
  • economic factors
  • tourism marketing strategies
  • global travel priorities
  • proportions
  • changing
  • correlate
  • reflect
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