IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart demonstrates
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 amount of Australian people who worked in five different sorts of
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
show examples
 in one of the
region
Change to a plural noun
regions
show examples
 of Australia in 2001 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, the residents of Australia
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 meanly employed in sales in both 2001 and 2008 meanwhile, farming is the latest occupied field among other
tpyes
Correct your spelling
types
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 in
data
Correct article usage
the data
show examples
. In detail, sales
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 preferred field with nearly 160000 workers in 2001 and it increased to approximately 170000 in 2008. Farming was
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 employed type in both 2001 and 2008 around 20000 workers
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each year. The people who
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
 account and farming
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 at almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 level in 2001 and 2008.
Moreover
Linking Words
, computing was the second preferred kind of job just below 60000 Australian residents in 2008. The amount of people occupied in accounting and nursing was
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
almost the same with around 60000 staff in 2008
likewise
Linking Words
, computing and nursing between 40000 and 60000 workers in 2001.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment trends
  • workforce
  • sector
  • industry
  • agriculture
  • services
  • economic factors
  • technological advancements
  • policy changes
  • notable increases/decreases
  • statistical data
  • regional employment patterns
  • comparative analysis
  • percentage points
  • employment rate
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