IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the proportion of women in the labour force and women in management in five countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the proportion of women in the labour force and women in management in five countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
The chart
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 information about the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 who
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
 in
labour
Correct article usage
the labour
show examples
 force and
management
Use synonyms
 in different five countries
Australia
Use synonyms
,
Egypt
Use synonyms
,
Sri
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
lanka
Change the capitalization
Lanka
show examples
,
Japan
Use synonyms
, and
Correct article usage
the united
show examples
united
Correct your spelling
United States
show examples
states
Use synonyms
. Units are measured in
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 The highest proportion of
women
Use synonyms
 working in
labour
Add an article
the labour
show examples
 force is in
Japan
Use synonyms
 and working in
management
Use synonyms
 is in
Autralia
Correct your spelling
Australia
 and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Use synonyms
states
Capitalize word
States
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest of
2
Correct article usage
the 2
show examples
types of
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 is in
Egypt
Use synonyms
 and
Sri
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
lanka
Change the capitalization
Lanka
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
In
Correct your spelling
in Japan
show examples
japan
Use synonyms
, Most of the
women
Use synonyms
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 in
Labour
Correct article usage
the Labour
show examples
 force accounting for 48, followed by
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Use synonyms
states
Capitalize word
States
show examples
 at 46,
Australia
Use synonyms
 and
Sri
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
lanka
Change the capitalization
Lanka
show examples
 have the same proportion at 42, and the
last
Linking Words
 is
Egypt
Use synonyms
 at 20.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Women
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
preffered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 working in
Use synonyms
management
Add an article
the management
show examples
 sector, which accounted for 43. Similar
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
Australia
Use synonyms
,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Use synonyms
states
Capitalize word
States
show examples
record
Wrong verb form
recorded
show examples
 the highest proportion of
women
Use synonyms
 working in
management
Use synonyms
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for 43, followed by
Japan
Use synonyms
 at 17,
Egypt
Use synonyms
 at 12, and
Use synonyms
sri
Change the capitalization
Sri
show examples
lanka
Use synonyms
 at 9.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words women, management, australia, egypt, sri, lanka, japan, states with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • labour force
  • management
  • statistics
  • disparities
  • trends
  • overall
  • notable differences
  • cultural factors
  • social factors
  • economic factors
  • gender equality
  • employment
  • roles
  • countries
  • analysis
What to do next:
Look at other essays: