The use of cell phones (mobile phones) has increased rapidly in the twenty-first century. Additionally, cell phones can now be used for many purposes besides making phone calls. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In the
Twenity
Correct your spelling
Twenty
-first century , using
cell
Use synonyms
phones
Use synonyms
became popular among
people
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.
Moreover
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cell
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phones
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have multiusing
funcations
Correct your spelling
functions
such
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as making calls , sending messages ,
snaps
Wrong verb form
snapping
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photos or
set
Wrong verb form
setting
show examples
alarms. The advantages outweigh the drawbacks for more than
one
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reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
.
First
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The first
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main advantage is using
cell
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phones
Use synonyms
(mobiles)
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
many
funcations
Correct your spelling
functions
. If
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
has
mobile
Correct article usage
a mobile
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he does not need
alarm
Correct article usage
an alarm
show examples
, camera , radio , telephone ,computer or even a television. Because all these devices
found
Add a missing verb
are found
show examples
in
one
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small smart device which we call nowadays a cellphone or a mobile. For more clearance, If you want to go for a picnic you can go with just
one
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device it is mobile taking a photo for the views
or
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apply
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calling your friends or
look
Wrong verb form
looking
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at your agenda all in
one
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screen.
Also
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,
cell
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phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
make
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life
more
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apply
show examples
easier so, users
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
need to buy many things just
one
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devise
Replace the word
device
show examples
and use it for many years . On the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
hand ,
cell
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phones
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have drawbacks
such
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as
waste
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wasting
show examples
users
Change noun form
users'
user's
show examples
time by watching it for hours scrolling down videos and posts . Many
people
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leave their work or study duo to
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
small screens .
Furthermore
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cell
Use synonyms
phones
Use synonyms
have a detrimental effect on human health
for example
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,
obesity
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with obesity
show examples
, individuals look at their devices without moving anywhere .
Moreover
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, it has
a negative effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
a negative effect
negative effects
show examples
on mental health. Now , many
people
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complain about how their
concerntation
Correct your spelling
concentration
concentrations
become low and forget
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
information.
To conclude
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, in the modern era ,
people
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cannot dispense
the
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apply
show examples
cell
Use synonyms
phones
Use synonyms
because
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
their lives
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier with the multiple functions device .
Although
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, it causes detrimental health and
waste
Correct subject-verb agreement
wastes
show examples
users
Change noun form
users'
user's
show examples
time . So yes
in
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apply
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these days the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
using mobiles.

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grammar
Ensure you use correct spelling and grammar throughout your essay. For example, 'Twentity' should be 'twenty', and 'multiusing funcations' should be 'multiple functions'.
formal tone
Make sure to maintain a formal tone in your writing. Phrases like 'make the life more easier' could be improved to 'simplify life'.
clarity
When presenting ideas, ensure they are clearly expressed. For example, 'the advantages outweigh the drawbacks for more than one reasons' is awkward and could be rephrased as 'the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages for several reasons'.
task achievement
You have successfully highlighted both the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phone usage, which is essential for addressing the essay prompt.
coherence
Your essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is important for coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Multifunctionality
  • Accessibility
  • Convenience
  • Remote work
  • Social media
  • Global marketplace
  • Data breach
  • Face-to-face communication
  • Privacy invasion
  • Emergency situations
  • Addiction
  • Navigation
  • Professional development
  • Economic opportunity
  • Communication
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