IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that goverments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

In my opinion
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
answer
Add an article
an answer
the answer
show examples
this
Linking Words
qoustion
Correct your spelling
question
, I think both it's
individuals
Correct article usage
the individuals
show examples
 responsibility and
Correct article usage
the goverments
show examples
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 should be sure that their citizens have a healthy
boody
Correct your spelling
body
 and life,
forexamples
Correct your spelling
for examples
for example
 take some steps or
prosece
Correct your spelling
prosecute
process
 that make
Use synonyms
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
intersting
Correct your spelling
interesting
 do
go
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
Use synonyms
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
 and eating healthy food, like but good
praice
Correct your spelling
price
praise
 for the
gym
Use synonyms
 and the food like when
some one
Correct your spelling
someone
show examples
 work in
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
his company give him
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 ofer for
gym
Use synonyms
 or contract with company serves
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
hearty
 food, that will be
encouragr
Correct your spelling
encourage
 the staff to start healthy life
stayel
Correct your spelling
style
 and
bailding
Correct your spelling
building
 the street and garden that can make
Use synonyms
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 to do
exersices
Correct your spelling
exercises
,
also
Linking Words
 the
Use synonyms
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 should be
care
Use synonyms
 about
thir
Correct your spelling
their
health
Use synonyms
 and avoid
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
meybe
Correct your spelling
maybe
 leading them to
dises
Correct your spelling
dishes
disease
 or
geting
Correct your spelling
getting
 old age faster, they
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 be reading and know the risk thing will be doing
dafantly
Correct your spelling
defiantly
 when
dosn't
Correct your spelling
doesn't
care
Use synonyms
 about
thir
Correct your spelling
their
health
Use synonyms
.
For
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my experience
realy
Correct your spelling
really
 I
now
Correct your spelling
know
show examples
 that so hard to
care
Use synonyms
 my
health
Use synonyms
 because I should move or go to the
gym
Use synonyms
 or
whene
Correct your spelling
when
 I see
sweetn
Correct your spelling
sweeten
sweet
fastfood
Correct your spelling
fast food
 I want to eat it bout
awlloys
Correct your spelling
alloys
 I try
rember
Correct your spelling
remember
my self
Correct your spelling
myself
show examples
 how it is
damyg
Correct your spelling
damaged
damage
 and
unusful
Correct your spelling
unuseful
 when I do that, I want to
leaving
Change the verb
leave
show examples
 my
lif
Correct your spelling
life
show examples
woth
Correct your spelling
with
health
Use synonyms
 body and do all things what I like to do until 70 years old
whithout
Correct your spelling
without
 any help,
that is
Linking Words
 I want, and I with all
Use synonyms
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 take
care
Use synonyms
 about
this
Linking Words
 subject
beacouse
Correct your spelling
because
 it's
realy
Correct your spelling
really
importaint
Correct your spelling
important
 to
relaizing
Correct your spelling
realizing
releasing
 that.

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structural
Try to develop a clearer introduction that outlines your main points and states your opinion directly. A good structure helps the reader follow your argument easily.
coherence
Ensure that your paragraphs focus on one main idea each, with clear topic sentences. This will improve the logical flow of your ideas.
language
Make sure to proofread your work for spelling and grammar to enhance clarity and professionalism. For example, 'goverments' should be 'governments' and 'usful' should be 'useful'.
task achievement
You've successfully presented both views on the topic and provided your own opinion, which is important for task achievement.
task achievement
You provided personal experience, which adds a relatable touch to your argument and enhances the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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