IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In today’s society people tend to buy many things and throw them away even though they can still be used. What are some causes of this behaviour? What are some effects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, people purchase
lots
Use synonyms
 of
stuff
Use synonyms
 and discard it even before using it
compeletly
Correct your spelling
completely
, one of the main
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
show examples
 behind
this
Linking Words
 kind of act is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
impulse purchasing
amogst
Correct your spelling
among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
customers. In the following
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I'll outline the reasons behind it and the drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Impluse
Correct your spelling
Impulse
 buying has become a popular
phinomenion
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
 these days where customers purchase
lots
Use synonyms
 of things without
thinkng
Correct your spelling
thinking
 about
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 usage and how
revelant
Correct your spelling
relevant
 it is. We might have
lots
Use synonyms
 of time experienced in our daily life as well, when we shop
goods
Change preposition
for goods
show examples
 just by getting attracted by its looks or getting influenced by an advertisement about it on the various social
meadia
Correct your spelling
media
,
however
Linking Words
 later regrating, and just dumping that
stuff
Use synonyms
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 the garbage.
Secondly
Linking Words
, many manufacturing companies use different marketing
tacticts
Correct your spelling
tactics
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 using flashy packaging, placement of the items in the supermarket or creating different discount offers, to gain the attention of
Add an article
the buyer
show examples
buyer
Fix the agreement mistake
buyers
show examples
 and
forcing
Wrong verb form
force
show examples
 them to buy more and more
stuff
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
impluse
Correct your spelling
impulse
 purchasing results in
lots
Use synonyms
 of
wasetages
Correct your spelling
wastage
, and in today's time when
lots
Use synonyms
 of people in
this
Linking Words
 world are dying of hunger,
this
Linking Words
 kind of
wastage
Replace the word
waste
show examples
 can't be justified. In conclusion, I believe
impuse
Correct your spelling
impulse
impose
 buying is one of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 behind people buying
lots
Use synonyms
 of goods,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 there are other reasons behind it which
promots
Correct your spelling
promote
this
Linking Words
amongts
Correct your spelling
amongst
among
 the customers.
This
Linking Words
 should be curtailed by the government as
this
Linking Words
 is the main factor behind
lots
Use synonyms
 of
wasetage
Correct your spelling
wastage
 of food and other important
stuff
Use synonyms
.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the introduction by clearly stating the points you will discuss in your essay and correcting typos like 'now a days' to 'nowadays'.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear topic sentences in each paragraph to clearly articulate the main idea you will discuss.
Task Achievement
Make sure to correct spelling mistakes like 'impluse', 'phinomenion', and 'regrating' as these can distract from your argument.
Task Achievement
Provide relevant examples or personal experiences to support your points about impulse buying and its consequences.
Coherence and Cohesion
Summarize your main points more effectively in the conclusion and avoid introducing new ideas at that stage.
Task Achievement
You have identified key reasons for impulse buying, which illustrates your understanding of the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is a positive aspect.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • planned obsolescence
  • environmental impact
  • marketing and advertising
  • social status
  • wealth
  • donate
  • recycle
  • identity
  • discard
What to do next:
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