IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some university students want to learn about other subject in addition to their main subjects. others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. discuss both views and give your opinion

continuous learning is
an
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apply
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important for many people in the world. Some
students
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 believe that learning a new
subject
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 other than their major one is better,
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however
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however,
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 others claim that it is
an
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apply
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essential to focus on their main
subject
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 to have their certificate.
Therefore
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, it is crucial to examine both opinions. Learning a new
subject
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 is useful for many
students
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 ,
hence
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 many people agree about studying a new
subject
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 for many reasons. First of all,
students
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 will be more knowledgeable of different aspects which might play a huge role
while
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 they try to find an occupation.
For example
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,
students
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 who improve themselves in many skills
such
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 as communication,
team work
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teamwork
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, and computer science might have more opportunities. On top of that, they try to take advantage of their leisure
time
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 by studying a new
subject
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 to get more experience and familiarize themselves with different majors at university.
Nevertheless
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, some
students
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 deem that
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
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 on their main
subject
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 is more important than studying additional material for several reasons.
To begin
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, people will get more
time
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 ,
thus
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help
Wrong verb form
helping
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 them to improve and study in depth regarding their main
subject
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.
In addition
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, they lack to concentrate
in
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on
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 multiple things,
therefore
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 they will not be able to do multiple tasks at one
time
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,
as a
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result
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result,
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 they might lose their attention and get
over loaded
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overloaded
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 with information which
lead
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leads
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 to poor
preformance
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performance
 in their main
subject
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. In my point of view, I believe that
students
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 who are able to manage their
time
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 might
able
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be able
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 to take an extra
subject
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 to learn different
knowledges
Fix the agreement mistake
knowledge
show examples
 and get more experience. In conclusion, expanding knowledge is an important decision for
students
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 because they are young and do not have too much responsibility. I
encaurage
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encourage
 every
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students
Change to a singular noun
student
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 to apply for an extra
subject
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 to
broad
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broaden
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 their ideas.

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task achievement
Make sure to clarify your opinion more explicitly in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs have clear topic sentences and transitions to enhance coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and using more complex sentences to improve clarity and flow.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread for minor grammatical errors and typos to improve overall presentation.
content
Good use of examples to support your points, especially regarding skills like communication and teamwork.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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