IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The pictures show the layout of a cinema in 1980 and the same cinema now.

The blueprint depicts the redevelopment of the
cinema
Use synonyms
 between 1980 and now.
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
cinema
Use synonyms
 has been completely revamped, erecting more rooms with the reallocation of recreational facilities,
whereas
Linking Words
 more entertaining areas have been added.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the outdoor section has been eliminated to pave the way for
extra
Correct article usage
an extra
show examples
 cinematic-based room. Beginning with
west
Correct article usage
the west
show examples
 wing where
toilet
Correct article usage
the toilet
show examples
 remained the same
along with
Linking Words
 the introduction of extra
cinema
Use synonyms
 rooms. Regarding the south-west, relax room was added to enhance the visitor's comfort and the drink stall was upgraded into
concession
Correct article usage
a concession
show examples
 stand.
However
Linking Words
, the parking lot on the north side of the building
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been repurposed
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for more spaces. Turning to the eastern part of the plan, more
cinema
Use synonyms
 infrastructure
being
Add a missing verb
is being
show examples
 added by utilising the land from the parking space.
Finally
Linking Words
, the ticket stand
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 intact
while
Linking Words
 adjacent to
this
Linking Words
 was a DVD shop that
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 been constructed as
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more shopping area.

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task achievement
Consider including more specific details or comparative phrases to enhance the description of the changes.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly guide the reader through your points without abrupt shifts; use linking words more effectively.
strength
Good overall organization and clear introduction of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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