As a result of growth in some urban areas, the environment in those cities is deteriorating. How could this issue be tackled by both the government and individuals?

More and more
people
Use synonyms
move to bigger
cities
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,
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as
Correct word choice
and as
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a
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
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the environmental
conditions
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of
Change preposition
apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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worsen.
However
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, the problem can be addressed if
governments
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implement appropriate programs which will
interest
Verb problem
encourage
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individuals
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to stay in non-urban territories and
individuals
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choose their
homecities
Correct your spelling
home cities
over urban areas being affected by assets they can earn by staying more. Globalisation has led to
fastening
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the fastening
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of worldwide migration.
Individuals
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move to various big
cities
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, some even change countries and continents. Looking for better job prospects, education opportunities and life situations,
people
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face a need to migrate. Leaving
Correct article usage
the countrysides
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countrysides
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countryside
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, society
turn
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turns
show examples
them into "ghost
cities
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"
while
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putting additional pressure on major
cities
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; the environment in these
cities
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deteriorates. Imposing tax incentives,
state
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and state
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support for micro-businesses, including subsidies and low-interest loans,
governments
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attract
attention
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the attention
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of residents. At the same time,
Correct article usage
the creations
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creations
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creation
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of new job places and educational institutions will preclude the need to change the place of living for local
people
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.
In other words
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, the improvement of infrastructure can change the situation.
For example
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, the government of the Republic of Azerbaijan used that strategy for
2016
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the 2016
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-2020 years,
consequently
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,
cities
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likes
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like
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Lankaran, Sheki and Guba had improved in many sectors.
Moreover
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,
well-being
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the well-being
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of the locals had developed and even some foreign investors established various businesses there. It
also
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shoul
Correct your spelling
should
be taken into consideration that not only
governments
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but
also
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individuals
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play
role
Correct article usage
a role
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in preventing a burden on urban areas. Being given all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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of opportunities, residents should stay there and strive to
excell
Correct your spelling
excel
conditions
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of their zones. Actively engaging
into
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in
show examples
ongoing processes will benefit both those
people
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and
government
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the government
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.
That is
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to say, by establishing legal entities or being self-employed, they can contribute to
development
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the development
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of
cities
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besides
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gaining a high profit.
Moreover
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,
attracting
Change preposition
by attracting
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foreigners, they can increase
earning
Correct your spelling
earnings
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even more and even
gaining
Wrong verb form
gain
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access to international collaboration.
For instance
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, one of the local
azerbaijani
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Azerbaijani
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firms "Qaymaq" which was established in non-urban areas was
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a best
the best
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best seller
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bestseller
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in 2024,
in addition
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to exporting their product to Russia, Turkiye and Georgia.
Overall
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, deteriorating environmental problems of urban zones caused by
growth
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the growth
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of population can be solved if
governments
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provide
favorable
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favourable
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conditions
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for local populations, and those
conditions
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are used wisely and effectively.

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coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly defined. Make sure to articulate your main ideas in the introduction and restate them in the conclusion concisely.
task achievement
While your ideas are generally relevant, some points lack clarity. Try to enhance the clarity of your arguments by providing more detailed explanations and transitions between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases. Revising these can improve the overall flow and impact of your essay.
task achievement
You provide a relevant and insightful analysis of both government and individual roles in addressing environmental issues in urban areas.
task achievement
You use some relevant examples to support your points, which is a good practice in argumentation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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