Some people think that the Olympic Games are an exciting event and can promote the communication between different countries, while others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is argued that the
Olympic
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games
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are not worthy,
while
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others believe it is the best way to increase communication among other
countries
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. I think the
Olympic
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games
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allow the
country
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to make an
identity
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worldwide and
due to
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international relationships help to gain some donations from the developed
countries
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to make a good future for
sports
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. On one hand, the Olympics allows to promote communication between athletes
as well as
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the
country
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's
sports
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governing boards.
Also
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,
this
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enhances world unity and provides more opportunities because sometimes people
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
know some
countries
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unless they participate in the event. The event
makes
Verb problem
is
show examples
a pathway to get some extra funds or financial help from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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developed
countries
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.
For example
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, some winners took their medals to their own
country
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for the very first time but the next time they returned back with good morals and good training because of extra money from the other
countries
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.
Therefore
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, I believe
this
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is the best way to maintain the
identity
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in the
Olympic
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games
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.
On the other hand
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, participating in an
Olympic
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tournament is very costly and should allocate enough government funds to represent the
country
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, especially for participants'
sports
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equipment, clothes, travel expenses and initial training expenses,
such
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as the development of infrastructure
according to
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the different types of
sports
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. Making
this
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investment, the government should cut some budgets allocated to essential services
such
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as health and education as
this
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leads to the
drainof
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drain of
a
country
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's economy. Ultimately, if the
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country
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country is
country was
show examples
unable to get a place all investments are lost.
For instance
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, in the
Olympic
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Games
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Games,
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many
countries
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returned back to the
country
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without any medals.
Therefore
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, someone could argue that it is a waste of money, but I believe that participation is the most important factor in making a
country
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's
identity
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and building an experience. In conclusion, people who are a debt by participating in the
Olympic
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games
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are wasting money, but I believe
this
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will offer a good opportunity to make a nation's
identity
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and pathway to obtaining some extra funds to enhance the
country
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's
sports
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future.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to provide a clearer structure in your arguments by using separate paragraphs for each point. This will help the reader follow your ideas more easily.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate on your points a bit more to give a complete understanding of your arguments.
task achievement
In your examples, ensure they clearly illustrate your points and directly relate to your argument.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic and express it effectively in your introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay raises valid points for both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global unity
  • foster
  • athletic prowess
  • cultural exchange
  • universal platform
  • transcending
  • infrastructure development
  • drain resources
  • long-term investments
  • financial imprudence
  • recouped
  • sustainable planning
  • mitigate
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