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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the percentage of workers in three sectors across four countries in 1980 and 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of workers in three sectors across four countries in 1980 and 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart shows the workforce in different sectors in 4 different
countries
Use synonyms
 between the years 1980 to 2010, the key information in
this
Linking Words
 chart is shown in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, we see 4 different sectors
that is
Linking Words
 ,agriculture and industry and services, in the agriculture
sector
Use synonyms
, shows an incline in the for
countries
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
 shows the most
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 of the workforce in that particular
sector
Use synonyms
, in the industry all
countries
Use synonyms
 have almost exactly the same
percentage
Use synonyms
,in services china has the most high
percentage
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, in the year 2010, most of the
countries
Use synonyms
shows
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
 an incline in the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
workforce
Add an article
the workforce
show examples
 in the industry
sector
Use synonyms
, in the agriculture
sector
Use synonyms
 china has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
high
percentage
Use synonyms
 by 10 per cent increase ,
while
Linking Words
 other
countries
Use synonyms
 almost
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 the same, in the services
sector
Use synonyms
 , almost all of the
countries
Use synonyms
 shows a noticeable decline except
germany
Change the capitalization
Germany
show examples
 which shows an increase of the per cent by 5 % .

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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, sector, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • sector
  • distribution
  • dominance
  • decline
  • significant changes
  • employment
  • patterns
  • trends
  • global
  • compare
  • highlight
  • examine
  • identify
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