IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Due to traffic and housing problems in the cities, the government encourages businesses to move to the rural area. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Higher
oli's
Correct your spelling
oil's
 prices are the idea that can resolve traffic and pollution
problems
Use synonyms
. I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
.
This
Linking Words
 essay is going to explain why not and propose
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
soultion
Correct your spelling
solution
solutions
 to the
problems
Use synonyms
. Nowadays more and more cars are electric,
thus
Linking Words
 they do not need
oil
Use synonyms
 to work. Battery-
powerd
Correct your spelling
powered
 vehicles still generate
trafic
Correct your spelling
traffic
 jams, especially in the cities. To reduce
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of
overloded
Correct your spelling
overloaded
overload
 roads, local politics should concentrate on upgrading public
transport
Use synonyms
. Properly managed mass
transport
Use synonyms
 services have a real chance to help with
rasing
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
 traffic
deal
Fix the agreement mistake
deals
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in London,
thakfully
Correct your spelling
thanks
 to very
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
 subway services, many people choose public
transport
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of private cars.
Bulding
Correct your spelling
Building
 new tram or
subways
Change the noun form
subway
show examples
 torys and
propose
Wrong verb form
proposing
show examples
 more buses to people are good idea
according to
Linking Words
 me. Pollution
problems
Use synonyms
 can not be ended by rising prices of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
oil
Use synonyms
, because
useage
Correct your spelling
usage
 of
oil
Use synonyms
 is not the main reason for
Correct article usage
a poluted
show examples
poluted
Correct your spelling
polluted
 environment. Poor quality of air is
cused
Correct your spelling
caused
used
 by coal powered
power houses
Correct your spelling
powerhouses
show examples
. To reduce
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of toxins in the air,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should work on developing more ecologically friendly
energy
Use synonyms
 sources, like windmills.
Netherlands
Correct article usage
The Netherlands
show examples
 is
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
 example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 that idea,
this
Linking Words
 country has
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 mostly from windmills. With green
energy
Use synonyms
sources
Add a comma
sources,
show examples
 people can have
needed
Correct article usage
the needed
show examples
 amount of
energy
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 air can stay clean.
this
Linking Words
 essay presented my opinion and ideas for stated
problems
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, rising
oil
Use synonyms
 prices are not going to resolve traffic and pollution
problems
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
concenrating
Correct your spelling
concentrating
 on
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
 public
transport
Use synonyms
 and
eco- friendly
Correct your spelling
eco-friendly
show examples
enery
Correct your spelling
energy
 sources has
power
Change the article
the power
show examples
 to help with
theses
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
 issues.

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grammar
Improve sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity.
content
Ensure that the main points are fully supported with appropriate examples and explanations.
cohesion
Work on linking ideas more smoothly to enhance flow between sentences and paragraphs.
argument
The essay presents a clear stance against the idea of raising oil prices as a solution.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban congestion
  • housing crisis
  • economic development
  • job creation
  • operational expenses
  • transport infrastructure
  • quality of life
  • spacious living
  • cultural vibrancy
  • profitability
  • infrastructure challenges
  • commute times
  • air pollution
  • rural revitalization
  • local economy
What to do next:
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