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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart provides key information about the percentage of expenditures for various categories in different countries in 2009. The units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that the US had the highest level of spending on housing.
In addition
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,
Japan
Use synonyms
 had a higher percentage spent on food compared to the United States.
Whereas
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,
Canada
Use synonyms
 and US were approximately equal in most items.
According to
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 what is shown,
Canada
Use synonyms
as well as
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 the US almost equivalent spent on food, each around 14% ,
While
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 in the UK the food expenditure is slightly under
Japan
Use synonyms
 by approximately 3%.
Canada
Use synonyms
 had notable spending on transportation around 20%,
while
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 the United States below 20%, and England slightly under 15%,
whereas
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Japan
Use synonyms
 experienced a decline to 10%. In terms of health care spending had a consistent pattern of most the countries spending less than 5% except, the US spending above 6 per cent. In
Canada
Use synonyms
, expenditure on clothing is slightly over 5 percentage but, but the rest US and
Japan
Use synonyms
, Great Britain are almost equal.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, canada with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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