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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph presents information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of
participants
Use synonyms
 in different activities (film club, martial arts, amateur dramatics, table tennis, musical performances) at a social centre in Melbourne, Australia from 2000 to 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, All the activities started in 2000 but the musical performances started in 2005 with no
participants
Use synonyms
. The
number
Use synonyms
 of joining was increasing in all of the activities, but the amateur dramatics had decreased.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
participants
Use synonyms
 in the film club is the highest in all the years shown.The
number
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started in 2000 with approximately 65
participants
Use synonyms
 and fluctuated in the other years, but in 2020 it backed to the same level as in 2000. The martial arts
also
Linking Words
 stayed at the same level in 2000 and 2020 about 35
participants
Use synonyms
. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
participants
Use synonyms
 in amateur dramatics has decreased by about 20
participants
Use synonyms
 from about 25
participants
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 to 5
participants
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 . Table tennis had increased from 15
participants
Use synonyms
 to approximately about 54
participants
Use synonyms
 .
Additionally
Linking Words
, the musical performances had increased from zero
participants
Use synonyms
 in 2005 to about 18
participants
Use synonyms
 in 2020.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, participants with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • trends
  • significant increases/decreases
  • stable numbers
  • fluctuations
  • overall participation
  • comparison
  • activities
  • social centre
  • Melbourne
  • participants
  • highlight
  • report
  • graph illustrates/demonstrates
  • 20-year period
  • key features
  • main features
  • statistical data
  • variations
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