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Writing Samples
Band 4

The pie charts show the figure for production of different products in 2 countries in million tons a year

The pie charts show the figure for production of different products in 2 countries in million tons a year
The static 2 graphs demonstrate a number of 5 various products manufactured in
Azerbaijan
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 and
Georgia
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 in
million
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tons
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by
Change preposition
apply
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annually. Obviously seems that the highest
production
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 in
Azerbaijan
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 is
petrol
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,
furthermore
Linking Words
,
wine
Use synonyms
 is the most consumed product in
Georgia
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.
In
Linking Words
particular
Add a comma
particular,
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Azerbaijan
Use synonyms
 is superior in the
production
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 of
petrol
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 and cotton, by the way,
Georgia
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 excels in
wine
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,tea and seafood. It can
observe
Wrong verb form
be observed
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 that
wine
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production
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 has more importance in
Georgia
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 than in
Azerbaijan
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. Because the measure of consumption of
wine
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 is 175
million
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tons
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,
graph
Add an article
the graph
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 shows that it is just 20
million
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tons
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 in
Azerbaijan
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. The second huge difference between goods
happen
Change the verb form
happens
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 in tea
production
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. It can be observed that the weight of tea
production
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 is 120
million
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tons
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 and 18
million
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tons
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Linking Words
accordingly
Rephrase
respectively
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Georgia
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 led the way in terms of
manufacture
Wrong verb form
manufacturing
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in
Change preposition
apply
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seafood products. Given that the amount of seafood goods is 100
million
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tons
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 in
Georgia
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,but in
Use synonyms
azerbaijan
Change the capitalization
Azerbaijan
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 is 50
million
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tons
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.
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Azerbaijan
Change noun form
Azerbaijan's
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 economy depends on mostly
petrol
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 products. Because the main
production
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 of
Azerbaijan
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 is
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
petrol
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 with 80
million
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tons
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. To compare the number is just 17
million
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tons
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 in
Georgia
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.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
Azerbaijan
Use synonyms
 topped
list
Add an article
the list
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 in terms of cotton
production
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 with 55
million
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tons
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. It seems that 22
million
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tons
Use synonyms
 in
Georgia
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words azerbaijan, georgia, million, tons, production, petrol, wine with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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