Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used as money making machines aimed at tourist. Others believe it is the only way to save such traditions in the world today. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

It is argued that a
country
Use synonyms
's traditions may be eliminated by earning more money from
tourists
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
others believe tourism is the only source to bring their own culture to the
world
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both views and give my perspective on these statements. On the one hand, some
country
Use synonyms
's main income is tourism, and
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
way of presenting their cultural practices to the
world
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, unethically
people
Use synonyms
trying to earn money
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
industry by mentioning the higher prices to see the tourist destinations.
This
Linking Words
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the reputation may damaged and
consequently
Linking Words
tourist industry loses visitors and trust.
For example
Linking Words
, some countries have different price ranges for local
people
Use synonyms
and
tourists
Use synonyms
and
this
Linking Words
can make them feel disappointed.
This
Linking Words
experience may be viral through social media all over the
world
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, unnecessary price increases directly affect the future of the national economy.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a
country
Use synonyms
's tourist board is one of the best ways to bring own nation's customs and cultural practices.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, travelling
people
Use synonyms
share their experiences with their
country
Use synonyms
and
world
Use synonyms
and allow
people
Use synonyms
to know about some hidden cultures they never knew.
For instance
Linking Words
, many
tourists
Use synonyms
tend to keep some reviews, photos and videos on Google for
further
Linking Words
reference.
In addition
Linking Words
to that, there are many ways to establish the identity of your
country
Use synonyms
in the globe rather than tourism,
such
Linking Words
as sports, art, history, beauty pageants and educational achievements.
This
Linking Words
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
all the areas ought to be developed. In conclusion, many
people
Use synonyms
often debate about the acquisition of unnecessary costs from travellers may destroy the
country
Use synonyms
's cultural tradition. I think it should be a balanced approach, reasonable costs provide
tourists
Use synonyms
with
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
experience and help to develop a good reputation
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the nation.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the government should make some rules and regulations to control and monitor price variations.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view of both sides of the argument, which is good. However, make sure to develop your points more fully and provide clearer examples to better support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
There are some areas where your ideas could flow more logically from one to the next. Consider using more linking words and phrases to enhance the clarity of your argumentation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to refine sentence structures and pay attention to grammatical errors. Simple mistakes can detract from the overall clarity of your points. Consider proofreading your essay before submission.
Task Achievement
You successfully identify both arguments and provide your opinion in a clearly defined conclusion, which strengthens your essay overall.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: