Some people think children should focus only on science subjects at school, while others believe arts are equally important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is no denying the fact that

Remove the comma

apply

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Kids learn things outside school.

While

Linking Words

It is a commonly held belief that children's just priority at college, there is

also

Linking Words

an argument that arts have the same importance as school.

This

Linking Words

essay will analyse

this

Linking Words

topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, Kids learning things is significant.

In other words

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, focus on their hops talents.

In addition

Linking Words

, Unleash their potential.

For example

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, they go to the library and read a new book.

On the other hand

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, Few people believe the group must focus on science subjects at faculty It is

also

Linking Words

possible to say that. Stubents only stady in class.

Moreover

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, They are focused on their homework or what they study.

For instance

Linking Words

The

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people do not pay attention to science subjects outside of

academy

Add an article

the academy

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In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

Linking Words

question . On balance,

however

Linking Words

, I tend to think

that Is

Linking Words

really significant because the clan must unleash their hobbies.

yalblwy703Thu May 15 2025

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task achievement

Your introduction needs to clearly outline the two sides of the argument more explicitly and state your opinion clearly. This will help in setting the tone for your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Try to develop your paragraphs with clearer topic sentences and supporting details. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is fully supported with examples.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure proper grammar and sentence structure throughout your essay, as some sentences are unclear or grammatically incorrect. This will enhance clarity and coherence.

task achievement

You have made an effort to present both sides of the argument, which is a good approach to the task.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

169 words

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Some people think children should focus only on science subjects at school, while others believe arts are equally important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Word Count

Some people see sport as no more than a leisure activity, others, however, believe that it is important for society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some employers involve their emoplyees in their decision-making process. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.