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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think if students are afraid of the teacher it is better. Others see that having a friendly relations is better. what do you think? Discus both points and give us opinion.

To be afraid of the
teacher
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 is said to have a better impact on the
students
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,
while
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 others think that having an intimate
relationship
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 will benefit them. Both points of view can be seen as beneficial to a certain extent. Analysing the differences will make it clear which is better than the other. Some teachers are implementing a strict and organised programme which requires the
students
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 to follow their directions with precise and on-point actions.
For example
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, a
teacher
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 could implement a score reduction if the
students
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 were late to the class. It is ,
however
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, only makes the
student
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 come to class on time and has no benefits in their studies.
Thus
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, a dictatorship-based teaching would not work for
students
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.
On the other hand
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, a
teacher
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 who has a friendly
relationship
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 with the
students
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 will benefit the
students
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 in achieving higher marks.
For instance
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, a
teacher
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 who implements funny jokes in the lecturers could motivate the
students
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 to understand the information better.
Consequently
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,
this
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 will increase the
student
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's score.
Hence
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, the importance of a good
teacher
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-
student
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relationship
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 could improve the
student
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's performance. In conclusion, a strict
teacher
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 could make the
student
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 behave
accordingly
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,
while
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 a friendly
teacher
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 could motivate their
students
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 and increase their cognition. Personally, the
relationship
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 between
teacher
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 and
student
Use synonyms
 is crucial to have and it looks like it has plenty of benefits for both sides.

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task achievement
Consider rephrasing the introduction for clarity and to set a clearer context for the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical transition between paragraphs to improve the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
Add more specific examples and evidence to support your points, which can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Good attempt at discussing both perspectives on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Clear conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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