Some people believe that it is important to spend time developing a successful career. Others argue that it is more important to spend time with friends and family than at work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People
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who have intentions to grow their
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career
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careers
show examples
more
Add a missing verb
are more
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likely prefer to use their free
time
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to develop some
usefull
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useful
skill
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skills
show examples
instead
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of
hangout
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hanging out
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with family. Meanwhile, some other folks feel
spend
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spending
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time
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with family and friends is way more important than working. Those two arguments could
be agree
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be agreed
show examples
and disagree. The two sides of
this
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argument will thoroughly
analyse
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analysed
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and discussed in the essay before drawing a
reasonsed
Correct your spelling
reasoned
opinion.
Firstly
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, the competition for getting a job in the current world is
such
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a real issue for many
people
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. Lately, many positions have been replaced with
robot
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robots
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or AI. 
Therefore
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, youngsters
tends
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tend
show examples
to spend more
time
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on
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apply
show examples
developing useful
skill
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skills
show examples
and expand knowledge to battle with the robot to get
position
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a position
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in the company.
However
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, it is something important to do to make sure youngsters have a better life.
Secondly
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, parents,
partner
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partners
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, children, and friends are important in some
folks
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folk's
folks'
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life.
People
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prefer to spend
time
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with family
instead
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of
waste
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wasting
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time
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at work.
For instance
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, most
of
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apply
show examples
the
mom
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moms
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would rather
quite
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quit
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from
job
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jobs
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, to become a housewife and focus on their family,
thus
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,
she
Correct pronoun usage
they
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can
taking
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take
be taking
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care
and
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of and
show examples
see
the
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their
show examples
children grow up. In conclusion,
spend
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spending
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time
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with
family
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the family
a family
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of
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is of
show examples
course really
imporant
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important
,
however
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, focusing on growing a
career
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seems to be way more crucial for the current conditions.
Therefore
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, I agree that
spend
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spending
show examples
time
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to
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apply
show examples
develping
Correct your spelling
developing
a successful
career
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is more important than
spend
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spending
show examples
time
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with family.
Thus
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,
people
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who grow
up
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apply
show examples
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
will have better positions and
will give
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a better life for
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
.

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task achievement
Try to enhance the introduction by providing a clearer overview and defining the key terms involved in the discussion. Additionally, make sure your thesis statement clearly states your position on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Work on using more cohesive devices (transitional phrases) between sentences and paragraphs to create a smoother flow of ideas.
task achievement
Consider expanding your examples and supporting points. The paragraphs should delve deeper into the implications of both sides of the argument and provide more specific scenarios or illustrations.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument in your essay, which is key in a discussion-type question.
task achievement
Your writing reflects an awareness of the importance of balancing career and family life, which is a relevant angle for this topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Professional fulfillment
  • Work-life balance
  • Financial stability
  • Emotional support
  • Societal contribution
  • Professional identity
  • Creating memories
  • Flexible working hours
  • Remote work
  • Setting boundaries
  • Prioritizing tasks
  • Productive workforce
  • Societal well-being
  • Cultural norms
  • Overall happiness
  • Foundational relationships
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