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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The aforementioned bar chart represents the percentage of higher education, which males and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 graduated in 1999 in Australia. In the big picture, it is conspicuous that
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 holding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
post-school
qualification
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qualifications
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 higher than
woman
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women
show examples
. Turning to the categories which
was
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were
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 dominated by
male
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males
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, the skilled vocational diploma had the most significant difference by 80%, with the female only reaching 10%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the top two different
proportion
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proportions
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the postgraduate diploma which had 70% and 30%, for
man
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men
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 and
woman
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women
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, respectively.
Lastly
Linking Words
, in the third position,
master
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the master
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 degree had 60% of
man
Correct your spelling
male
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 graduates and woman graduates
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
20%
lower
Correct word choice
apply
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. Focusing on the remained report, both genders who finished their study
in
Change preposition
at
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 the bachelor level had almost the same proportion between 40% and 50%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there was a dramatic contrast between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 sexes in completing the undergraduate diploma, with
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 exceeding
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 by more than a third in 1999.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • qualification
  • higher education
  • vocational training
  • Bachelor's degree
  • diploma
  • gender disparity
  • employment
  • statistics
  • representation
  • trend
  • data analysis
  • implication
  • education attainment
  • demographics
  • chart overview
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