Some people think that there should be a law to ban young people under 18 to go out after the midnight, others think it should not be. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

this

Linking Words

recent era, the number of young generations, aged under 18, having outside activities after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

midnight

becomes

Wrong verb form

has become

show examples

topical since a part of society argued that

this

Linking Words

should be restricted by a law,

while

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others complained that they did not agree. To respond to

this

Linking Words

issue, I will provide

explanation

Add an article

an explanation

show examples

based on both sides and believe that making a policy for restricting the youth

going

Change preposition

from going

show examples

outside after 12 pm is more convincing

due to

Linking Words

the benefits. Focusing on supporting

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

night activities,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adolescents tend to have many responsibilities which

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

be done in the midday.

This

Linking Words

is because some universities have a longer learning time and demand their students to do so many projects and research.

Therefore

Linking Words

, most of them come home late as they have to finish their discussions or conduct some meetings with

the

Change the word

their

show examples

colleagues. Some institutions believe that the longer study activities are, the higher

academic

Correct article usage

the academic

show examples

performance of the young generation

show

Correct subject-verb agreement

shows

show examples

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

idea is misleading since there are some educational institutions in Japan showing an outstanding academic report without extending learning time. Even though the colleges have

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

shorter time and

fewer

Correct quantifier usage

less

show examples

homeworks

Correct your spelling

homework

to do, their learners still win some competitions and they can be hired by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

top-notch companies. Turning to supporting the law, applying the rule to forbid adolescents’ midnight actions is beneficial as they can be prevented

to get

Verb problem

from

show examples

accident

Fix the agreement mistake

accidents

show examples

and criminality. Most of them feel exhausted after finishing so

Correct word choice

many works

show examples

works

Correct subject-verb agreement

work

show examples

and complicated questions and

this

Linking Words

issue leads them to not focus on driving

Change preposition

apply

show examples

home.

Therefore

Linking Words

, there is an opportunity to get an accident in the way the individuals

heading

Wrong verb form

head

show examples

home.

In addition

Linking Words

, the higher criminality rate happens at night because there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

few

polices

Correct your spelling

policies

show examples

stay

Correct pronoun usage

that stay

show examples

in all ways.

To sum up

Linking Words

, after thorough consideration, I support the law should be applied as the positive impacts of

this

Linking Words

outweigh the number of benefits

having

Change preposition

of having

show examples

midnight actions for the youth under 18.

yesika.billah.barikaSun May 18 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Consider providing clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to better establish the main idea. This will improve the overall organization of your essay.

task achievement

Make sure to include a more balanced discussion of both views, ensuring that each perspective is elaborated with relevant examples.

coherence and cohesion

Revise grammar and sentence structure in some areas for clarity and fluency. For example, phrases like 'the number of young generations, aged under 18, having outside activities after the midnight' could be refined.

task achievement

You demonstrate a clear opinion throughout the essay, indicating your stance on the topic effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction sets the stage for the discussion and outlines the main points to be covered, which is a good practice.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

324 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ban
curfew
underage
risk-taking behavior
personal freedoms
independence
structure
discipline
parental control
rebellious behavior
social interactions
safety concerns
decision-making skills
negative influences
trust

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Some people think that there should be a law to ban young people under 18 to go out after the midnight, others think it should not be. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some believe that traffic problems in cities can best be resolved by investing in urban infrastructure while others feel there are superior solutions. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children.

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foregin language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country . Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language Discuss both these views and give your own opinion