IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Is there any value in studying academic subjects that are not useful in terms of generating wealth for the country. Do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant exampl es from your own knowledge or experience.

In recent years, the value of non-economically beneficial academic
subjects
Use synonyms
 in education has become a broad concern within the general public. Some people argue that learning academic
subjects
Use synonyms
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not contribute to our country’s wealth.
However
Linking Words
, it
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
 to me that these
subjects
Use synonyms
 have significant value and should still be pursued. On the one hand, it is crucial to examine the opposing viewpoint that academic
subjects
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as philosophy, literature, and history help develop critical thinking skills, creativity, and cultural awareness. A noteworthy factor to consider is that proponents of
this
Linking Words
 perspective often contend that these qualities are essential for the progress of society, even if they do not immediately boost the economy.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are several arguments against the statement that some
subjects
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as psychology, mindfulness, and emotional education are closely related to mental health. Studying these
subjects
Use synonyms
 helps students understand their emotions, reduce stress, and improve their
overall
Linking Words
 well-being.
For instance
Linking Words
, a student who learns psychology can better manage their emotion. In conclusion, the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
 facts have created a dilemma when people evaluate the impact of
this
Linking Words
 issue, and it is still a controversial issue. As far as I am concerned , it could have both positive and negative
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
. People should have
further
Linking Words
 consideration on
this
Linking Words
 issue.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Expand on your ideas and ensure that each paragraph fully supports the main argument. For example, provide a clearer connection between the benefits of non-economically beneficial subjects and their actual impact on society.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the points you discuss in each paragraph relate to that idea. Consider using transition phrases to improve flow and connection between ideas.
Task Achievement
Include more relevant examples to strengthen your arguments and illustrate your points effectively. For example, when discussing the impact of subjects like psychology, you could add an example of how this knowledge applies in real-life scenarios.
Thoughtful Argumentation
You have a clear stance on the topic and present a balanced view by addressing both sides of the argument.
Content Knowledge
Your writing demonstrates an understanding of the importance of various academic subjects, which is a relevant perspective on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: