IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphsise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In modern times, marketing solely focuses on convincing the customers, that recent products are novel in a certain manner. Even, though
this
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 could have a positive effect on the sales, it could
also
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 negatively impact the
overall
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 outcome. I neither
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
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 it as positive nor disagree as negative. In
this
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 essay, I will explain it with examples and justify my viewpoint.
To begin
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 with, marketing is what persuades you to try a brand. If not advertised as a novel, people will mostly ignore the content completely.
For example
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, the annual cycle of iPhones brings us mobile devices which are not significantly faster, but with added software tweaks to enhance existing workflow, which is advertised as a novel way to interact.
In addition
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, these features are not significant hardware upgrades that improve performance.
Overall
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,marketing might impact the customer's short-term purchase
due to
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 misunderstanding,
while
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 long-term client satisfaction relies on integrity.
On the other hand
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, persuasive marketing techniques could
initially
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 concentrate on selling the product.
For instance
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, even though the product was purchased, a customer might return the commodity sooner than expected, within the return window, due to the fact that there were no significant differences between the predecessor and the current item.
This
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 vicious cycle in
long
Correct article usage
the long
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 term could degrade the reputation and might lead to bankruptcy. In conclusion, considering all of these above-mentioned factors into play, there should be a striking balance developed between marketing and integrity to convince the customer in a manner for a sustainable business.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents the topic and your viewpoint, but it could be stronger by clearly stating your position earlier. For example, instead of stating that you neither agree nor disagree, you could clarify what you perceive as the positives and negatives of the trend.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that connects back to your thesis statement. This will improve the flow and coherence of your arguments.
task achievement
In your body paragraphs, try to elaborate more on your examples to clarify how they support your points. For instance, explain why the return rate of products affects business reputation more significantly. Providing a bit more detail can strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
positive
Your essay addresses the topic and provides a balanced view, which is commendable. You have presented both sides of the argument, indicating a thoughtful approach to the issue.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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