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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Thw chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. summeruse the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevent.

Thw chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. summeruse the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevent.
The
provides
Wrong verb form
provided
show examples
 figures compare the
variton
Correct your spelling
variation
variations
 in
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 who
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
time
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
eating fast food restaurants in
USA
Use synonyms
 states between 2,003 to 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
 it is evident that the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
customers who
eat from
Wrong verb form
ate
show examples
 outside one
time
Use synonyms
 in week in 2006
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 was 33
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 the
people
Use synonyms
 who
eating
Wrong verb form
ate
show examples
 food every day in 2003 was 4
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of customers but slightly decrease in 2006 was 2
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
who spend
show examples
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
time
Use synonyms
to eat
Change the verb form
eating
show examples
 outside in
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 from 2003 to 2013 was
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 .
According to
Linking Words
 what
shown
Add a missing verb
is shown
show examples
 in the chart the
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
states
Wrong verb form
stated
show examples
 in 2013
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
one to twice
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a month from outside was
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 who
is eating
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
 from restaurants more than
one
Correct your spelling
once
show examples
 times in a week in 2003 was 17
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 but they rose in 2006 was 20
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
then
Linking Words
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 in 2013 was 15
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 the customers of
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
never ate from outside they
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 in 2003 5
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
then
Linking Words
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 in 2006 was 3
percentage
Use synonyms
 than
instead
Linking Words
 in 2013
To sum
Linking Words
up
Add a comma
up,
show examples
 the amount of the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 who spent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food from outside once
time
Use synonyms
 a month
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
Add an article
an increase
the increase
show examples
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 in 2013
while
Linking Words
 the everyday
people
Use synonyms
 eating from outside was
lowset
Correct your spelling
lower
show examples

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, usa, percentage, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 8 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fast food restaurant
  • Frequency
  • Consumption
  • Decadal change
  • Trend analysis
  • Peak years
  • Demographics
  • Eating out
  • Health trends
  • Economic conditions
  • Food industry
  • Demographic segmentation
  • Cuisine
  • Independent outlets
  • Chain restaurants
  • Longitudinal study
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