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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Is there any value in studying academic subjects that are not useful in terms of generating wealth for the country. Do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In
the
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apply
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recent years, the topic of the relevance of academic
subjects
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 that do not directly contribute to economic growth has undeniably become a critical issue for
the
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apply
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social communication
at
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as
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whole
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a whole
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.
While
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 some people argue that education
are
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is
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 not useful
on
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in
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wealth generating
Add a hyphen
wealth-generating
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 fields, I believe that academic study
hold
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holds
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 intrinsic value for society and
individuals
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. On the one hand, it is essential to
ackowledge
Correct your spelling
acknowledge
 that
individuals
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 ought to
regconize
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recognise
 the vital advantages of studying
subjects
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, whether they directly generate wealth or not, but it has significant benefits for
individuals
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 and society.
Firstly
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,
subjects
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such
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 as mathematics, science, and economics help promote economic growth and create jobs.
For example
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, engineers have helped build the world's leading technology corporations.
In addition
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, social and humanistic
subjects
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such
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 as history and literature help develop critical thinking and raise social awareness.
For example
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, studying history helps us avoid repeating past mistakes.
On the other hand
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, these
subjects
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 provide balance in life, as they nurture passions and improve mental well-being. A musician may not directly contribute to GDP, but he or she enriches the spiritual life of the community.
Furthermore
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,
subjects
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such
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 as environmental science and ethics help solve global problems,
such
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 as climate change and social inequality. In conclusion,
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while
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the debate over the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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 of studying academic
subjects
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is not contribute
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does not contribute
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 to economic development . I firmly
belive
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believe
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 that the benefits of
scholar
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scholarly
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subjects
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plays
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play
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 a vital role in shaping
individuals
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 and sustainable societies. These
subjects
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 foster critical thinking, raise awareness communication, and enhance mental health.
Therefore
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, rather than measuring education solely by its economic output, we should value knowledge for its capacity to enrich both minds and communities.
Government
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The government
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 should fund diverse disciplines to balance economic and humanistic growth

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task achievement
Make sure to develop your ideas more thoroughly with clear explanations and examples.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to enhance the logical flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and spelling to improve the overall clarity of your writing.
task achievement
You provide a range of ideas that showcase your understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for effective structure.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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