IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree.

In
this
Linking Words
 day and age, individuals are buying products through websites, and
this
Linking Words
 trend is increasing in
unprecedented
Add an article
an unprecedented
show examples
 manner which leads to
winding
Correct article usage
the winding
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 up of the business in the local areas and in city malls.
Although
Linking Words
 web-based companies not only
give
Verb problem
provide
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large
Add an article
a large
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 variety of goods but
also
Linking Words
 accessibility to buyers. I completely agree with the statement and related points will
be discuss
Change the verb form
be discussed
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 in upcoming paragraphs. To embark on, there are multifarious
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 why people prefer to purchase online
instead
Linking Words
 of visiting nearby stores and the most obvious one is
broad
Correct article usage
the broad
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 range of products
as
Correct word choice
apply
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if
a
Correct article usage
apply
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someone is not satisfied with one website’s product they can switch to another internet-based business with just one click of button.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, nowadays everybody remains busy as a bee and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 less time to go to
market
Add an article
the market
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 to buy something
as a result
Linking Words
 they tend to order online which
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 them delivery and
drop off
Add a hyphen
drop-off
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 facilities. In conjunction
to
Change preposition
with
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this
Linking Words
,
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
show examples
 options as it is difficult to find less expensive goods in shopping malls and town markets
whereas
Linking Words
, online website not only provides a wide range of
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 but
also
Linking Words
cost friendly
Add a hyphen
cost-friendly
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 options to
Add an article
a customer
the customer
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customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
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 who
are
Change the verb form
is
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 looking to
spent
Change the form of the verb
spend
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 less. Shein to exemplify,
an
Add a missing verb
is an
show examples
 online company
provides
Correct pronoun usage
that provides
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 a number of products for everybody
and
Correct word choice
apply
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at
very
Correct article usage
a very
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less
Fix the agreement mistake
low
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 price as compared to market price.
To conclude
Linking Words
, internet shopping entails numerous benefits to human beings as they are time and
cost saving
Add a hyphen
cost-saving
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as well as
Linking Words
 give
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
 a choice to select
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 of different
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
 in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 seconds.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use clear and effective linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more seamlessly. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to your overall argument. This can help readers follow your reasoning more easily.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and explanations for your points. While you mentioned Shein, further elaboration on how it exemplifies the cost-effectiveness of online shopping could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Consider revising the introduction and conclusion to be more impactful. They should clearly reiterate your stance and summarize the main points of your argument.
task achievement
You have a clear stance on the topic, stating your agreement with the statement, which gives direction to your essay.
task achievement
Your points regarding the convenience and cost-effectiveness of online shopping are relevant and reflect a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
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