🔶Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugar products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. 🔸Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction

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show examples

my opinion, I agree with the

ides

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ideas

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makeing

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making

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

food

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and

drink

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more expensive in

store

Fix the agreement mistake

stores

show examples

so that

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people do not

get

Verb problem

have

show examples

health

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

Body · 1

On the

one

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hand, in

fact

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fact,

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the

food

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and

drink

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have

alots

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lots

a lot

of high levels of

suger

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sugar

its

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

cheper

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cheaper

Linking Words

then

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than

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthy

food

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, papsi

its

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show examples

one

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the drink

show examples

drink

Correct subject-verb agreement

drinks

show examples

its really cheap and

every where

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everywhere

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they can find

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it in

show examples

the

supermaket

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supermarket

or in the restaurant

its

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it's

it is

show examples

easy to buy.

Moreover

Linking Words

, talabat

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one

Add a missing verb

is one

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the

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of the

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apps that

every

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everyone

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one

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have

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has

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there

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their

show examples

food

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and they

deliverto

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deliver to

deliver

your home even when have

alot

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a lot

of money.

Such

Linking Words

as they

dilever

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deliver

hour

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hours

show examples

to most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

restaurant

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restaurants

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Body · 2

On the other hand

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

as high levels of

suger

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sugar

its

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

caues

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causes

cause

a many health problem. Because that many people

nowaday

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nowadays

show examples

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too

show examples

much young children they have diabetes from the

suger

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sugar

. So

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realise that

its

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it's

it is

show examples

better to make the

food

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and

drink

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more expansive so that children can

reduse

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reduce

what they

drink

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and

thay

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they

cant buy it and will

halp

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help

them

loss

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lose

show examples

wight

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weight

show examples

Impact the

Verb problem

The

show examples

soft

Use synonyms

drink

Fix the agreement mistake

drinks

show examples

make

Verb problem

apply

show examples

also

Linking Words

the body not

working

Change the verb form

to work

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well like

geting

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getting

anxious and less sleep or

feel dizziness

Wrong verb form

dizzy

show examples

Conclusion

summery

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summary

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, now the people

thay

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they

dont

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don't

exercise and they

eate

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eat

ate

too much

food

Use synonyms

becuse

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because

its easy to get from

talabat

Change the capitalization

Talabat

show examples

or delivery app new

thay dilaver

Correct your spelling

that deliver

to home direct.

kbuthaina16

May 20, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language

Improve spelling and grammar for clarity. For example, 'ideas of making' instead of 'ides of makeing' and 'many health problems' instead of 'many health problem'.

structure

Try to create clearer topic sentences and logical connections between paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay.

content

Provide more specific evidence or examples to support your arguments, particularly regarding health issues caused by sugar.

content

The essay presents a clear opinion on the issue, showing agreement with the statement about making sugary products more expensive.

content

The writer recognizes the negative impact of high sugar consumption on health, which is an important point to address in the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
60
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

226 words

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🔶Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugar products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. 🔸Do you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured food and drink contains high levels of sugar, Which cause many health problems. Sugary should be made more expensive to encourage to people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Too much emphasis is put on going to university for academic studies. We should encourage people to have vocational education since there are not enough qualified businessmen, electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

After being punished, many criminals continue to commit crimes. Why do some people commit crimes even after having been punished? What measures can be taken to tackle this problem.

Cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money making attractions aimed at tourist or is it the only way to save these tradition. Discuss and give you opinion.