IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The street plans below show a residential area with a park and playground in 2016 and the proposed changes for 2025 to make it safer for families and children. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The plans showcase the layout of
a
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apply
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suburbia with a park and playground in 2016 and the alterations suggested for it to become safer for families with children in 2025.
Overall
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, it can be seen that there are multiple changes to be made in order to make the area less dangerous for pedestrians,
such
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 as safety railings that barrier the High road highway on both sides of the park entrance.
In addition
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 to those it is
also
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 proposed to introduce a zebra crossing west of the park,
at the end
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 of Staple Road,
thus
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 preventing possible car accidents.
Moreover
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, there are modifications suggested
for ensuring
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to ensure
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safety
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the safety
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 of automobile owners. The biggest change would perhaps be the conversion of the Major Junction, connecting Tennis Street, Bridge Street, Hatton Avenue and Bond Way, into a roundabout. It is
also
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 put forward to install traffic lights on the roundabout to regulate the traffic flow.
These
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With these
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 measures taken, the area will turn more welcoming and family-friendly in 2025 in comparison to 2016.

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task achievement
Make sure to include more clear main points and support each one with details.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transitions between your paragraphs and ideas to help the reader follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to provide a brief conclusion that summarizes your main points for clarity.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies the changes planned for the area.
task achievement
There is a good attempt to compare the years 2016 and 2025.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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