IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Deciding the major to
study
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 is argued by
people
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due to
Linking Words
 their different beliefs.
While
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 some
favors
Change the verb form
favor
show examples
 the students may choose the field as they want, others support the idea that the selected subjects ought to be beneficial in the future and cover the areas of STEM.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees that students should pick their
study
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 areas based on their free will.  Aspirations are important in
human's
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human
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 life to be able to pursue it meaningfully.
Therefore
Linking Words
, scholars may have a chance to determine their future professional and personal paths. The first step for
this
Linking Words
 is being able to
study
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 the desired topics at the universities. Since every type of job is needed to maintain daily life,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 diverse range of
labor
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labour
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 is required to fill the gap.
In addition
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, research shows that
the
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apply
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people
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 demonstrate better work performance when they love what they do.
In contrast
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, the increasing need for experts in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics can not be overlooked. The horizons of humanity
is
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are
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 shaped on these grounds. That's why it is understandable why
people
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 strongly recommend
to
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apply
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youngsters to get a degree
from
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in
show examples
STEM related
Add a hyphen
STEM-related
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 areas. Based on the observations, it is easy to say that the number of
people
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Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 machinery or applied science
Add a missing verb
has surges
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surges
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surged
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 in comparison with previous decades.
Nevertheless
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, those who picked industrial systems or automation are usually fond of these disciplines.  In conclusion, it is important to note that various
people
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 may have several views in terms of scholarly domains. Even though some individuals may prefer the realms they like,
a
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apply
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one segment might put the weight on innovation. Yet,
the
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apply
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willingness must be an indispensable factor
on
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in
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 one's decision.

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task achievement
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main idea. Try to include more specific examples to make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better and make the flow smoother. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic, which is good.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
What to do next:
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