IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

A group of people believe that smoking in the public should be banned. Other groups of people argue that it should not. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is no denying that the main
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reason
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
smoking is not
allow
Change the form of the verb
allowed
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
places
Use synonyms
 is
arguable
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
. Other
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 believe
that
Linking Words
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 should be used in public
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, in
this
Linking Words
 essay
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss my
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
. Gerenally
speacking
Correct your spelling
speaking
, there are
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 communities
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are
Use synonyms
smoker
Fix the agreement mistake
smokers
show examples
 who
connot
Verb problem
are not
show examples
 able to
leave
Verb problem
stop
show examples
 smoking
.even
Correct your spelling
even
 though they have some difficulties when they need to
smoking
Change the verb
smoke
show examples
 in public
zone
Fix the agreement mistake
zones
show examples
for example
Linking Words
 : when
Use synonyms
smoker
Fix the agreement mistake
smokers
show examples
 people go to
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
work they not
allow
Wrong verb form
allowed
show examples
 to
smoking
Replace the word
smoke
show examples
 in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
 ,
moreover
Linking Words
 in some career they do not have any break time to used smok or Electronic smoke . Another point
it
Add a missing verb
is it
show examples
 is banneding in some
places
Use synonyms
 like in the malls or shopping stores. Or inside
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transportation like
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the train or bus
.
Correct your spelling
Therefore
therefore
Linking Words
 many people who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
Use synonyms
smoker
Fix the agreement mistake
smokers
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
 be
allow
Wrong verb form
allowed
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it could
argue
Wrong verb form
be argued
show examples
 that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
some governments have a strike roule against
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
smoker
Fix the agreement mistake
smokers
show examples
 to aim
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct your spelling
at
show examples
 decreasing the number of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the smoker
show examples
smoker
Fix the agreement mistake
smokers
show examples
 after increasing
phononme
Correct your spelling
phonon me
Electroinc
Correct your spelling
Electronic
 smoking in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
places
Use synonyms
,
for instance
Linking Words
 in some countries they banned smoking
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
evenywhere
Correct your spelling
everywhere
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public areas and put it high fees whose smokers in public spaces.
In addition
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 way distributions of
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
numbers of smokers .
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 they have
extre
Correct your spelling
extra
 taxes on cigarettes. So I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 side because smoking is detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
additionally
Linking Words
 is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children. In conclusion, in spite that smoking is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 smokers,
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
ther
Correct your spelling
there
 are some of them
Correct pronoun usage
who wants
show examples
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
 to
smoking
Change the verb
smoke
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
places
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 a group of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 believe that smoking should be forbidden in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public areas.

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coherence and cohesion
Please improve your introduction to clearly state your opinion and the main points you will discuss. This helps the reader understand your essay better.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to link your ideas together. This will help your logical structure.
task achievement
Make sure you provide specific examples to support your views. This makes your arguments stronger and clearer.
task achievement
Work on your grammar and spellings. These can make it hard for the reader to understand your points.
task achievement
You have attempted to present both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the essay well, which helps to wrap up your ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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