IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the table below highlights data on the number of travellers using three major British airports between 1998 and 2003.

The table provided shows the
number
Use synonyms
 of people travelling using three airports,
such
Linking Words
 as Heathrow, Gatwick, and Stansted, in the UK from 1998 to 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, these three airports have an upward trend,
although
Linking Words
 Heathrow had a decrease in 2001 and went up again in the next year. Gatwick Airport had the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of visitors,
while
Linking Words
 Stansted had the slowest ones over six years. The total
number
Use synonyms
 of travellers from Gatwick Airport started at 27.2 million and ended at 69.3 million, becoming the most visited airport compared to others.
Similarly
Linking Words
, Stansted
also
Linking Words
 experienced a rise from 17.3 to 43.3, between 1998 and 2001 respectively before remaining stable at 43.3 million in the half of the period. Despite growing significantly in the first half of the period, Heathrow plummeted to 37.1 in 2001 from 48.2 in 2000 and went down to 33.2 in 2002. Surprisingly, it jumped to 45.6 in 2003 after the decrease, having a higher
number
Use synonyms
 of travellers than Stansted.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear overview, but it would benefit from a stronger introduction that summarizes key trends more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your ideas by using more linking words or phrases to connect points better.
coherence and cohesion
Include a brief conclusion that summarizes the key findings or trends in the data.
task achievement
You provided specific numbers and comparisons between the airports, which helps to illustrate the trends clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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