IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

n today’s rapidly developing world,
science
Use synonyms
 plays a fundamental role in shaping modern life. I strongly agree that the primary goal of
science
Use synonyms
 should be to improve people’s lives, as it contributes significantly to human health, well-being, and sustainability.
To begin
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 with, scientific research has led to major advancements in healthcare. Fields
such
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 as biology, chemistry, and physics have contributed to the discovery of treatments, vaccines, and life-saving technologies.
For instance
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, biology helps us understand the role of plants and animals in providing essential resources like food and medicine.
This
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 knowledge supports efforts to maintain a balanced ecosystem and meet the basic needs of humans in a sustainable way.
Moreover
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, the combination of
science
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 and technology has made it easier for people to access important health information.
For example
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, mobile applications and online platforms provide guidance on nutrition, exercise, and disease prevention.
This
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 has increased public awareness and encouraged healthier lifestyles. Many individuals now apply scientific advice in their daily routines, leading to long-term improvements in their
overall
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 well-being. In conclusion,
science
Use synonyms
 plays a crucial role not only in advancing knowledge but
also
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 in enhancing the quality of human life. When supported by technology, its potential becomes even greater.
Therefore
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, I firmly believe that improving people’s lives should remain the central purpose of scientific efforts, ensuring a healthier and more informed society for future generations.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly relate each paragraph back to the main aim of science in your topic statement.
task achievement
Try to add more specific examples or data to support your claims, such as statistics on health improvements due to scientific advances.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents your position and outlines the main points.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion nicely summarizes your argument and reaffirms your viewpoint effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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