IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph gives information about the number of employment in the three sectors of the economy which is located in UK

The line graph gives information about the number of employment in the three sectors of the economy which is located in UK
The line graph gives information about the number of employment in the three sectors of the economy which is located in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 over a ten-year
period
Use synonyms
 from 2000-2010 At a glance, what stands out from the statistics is that were shown
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
fluctuate
Replace the word
fluctuating
show examples
 trends
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
 the public
sector
Use synonyms
 and self-employment over the periods. Meanwhile, the private
sector
Use synonyms
 experienced a gradual
fell
Replace the word
fall
show examples
 over two other sectors. Looking at details, as regards
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of employment started
just
Change preposition
at just
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 under 40 in 2000,
then
Linking Words
 the figure levelled off in the following year before went up considerably until 2005 approximately just under 50. At that
point
Add a comma
point,
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 the figure experienced a slight decline in
rate
Add an article
the rate
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 of
employments
Fix the agreement mistake
employment
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 around 45 in 2006.
Linking Words
Subsequently
Add a comma
Subsequently,
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 consistently
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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 over the periods and met the peak of the rate
in
Change preposition
at
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end
Add an article
the end
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
the period
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 roughly about just above 50.
Moreover
Linking Words
, self-employment saw similar trends with public sectors and
reaching
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak at
end
Correct article usage
the end
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
 with 30 rates of employment. Unfortunately, if we focus on
private
Add an article
the private
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
, it started as the most popular
sector
Use synonyms
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 others
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for just under 50,t in the following years, the figure experienced a gradual
fell
Replace the word
fall
show examples
 over the
period
Use synonyms
 and became the lowest unpopular
sector
Use synonyms
 over
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other sectors
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sector
Use synonyms
 proven with only 20.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, sector with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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