In some countries, small town-centre shops are going out of business because people tend to drive to large out-of-town stores. As a result, people without cars have limited access to out-of town stores, and it may result in an increase in the use of cars. Do you think the advantages of this change outweigh its disadvantages?

In some nations, people prefer to drive to purchase in the supermarkets on the outskirts rather than central groceries.
While
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this
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trend could cause an increasing use of automobiles and serious traffic congestion, I personally believe that its benefits outweigh its drawbacks.   Admittedly, the wider application of private cars negatively affects air conditions and the convenience of commuters.
This
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is because excessive automobiles on the streets lead to traffic congestion during rush hours.
This
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means it will cause a waste of commuters' time and bring additional inconvenience. Meanwhile, carbon dioxide emissions from traditional fuel vehicles will jeopardize the local environment and raise the demand for petroleum resources.
In other words
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, toxic gas emissions and
usage
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the usage
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of petrol might cause a wide range of environmental problems
such
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as climate change and greenhouse gas emissions.
However
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such
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disadvantageous factors can be addressed by several approaches.
For example
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, governments can draft policies to replace oil vehicles with electric vehicles and improve transportation systems to enhance accessibility to residents. 
On the other hand
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, suburban stores are beneficial to both society and individuals.
Firstly
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, more emerging supermarkets in
suburbs
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the suburbs
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will boost the economic development of rural areas, which will notably narrow the gap between the countryside and downtown.
For example
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, there will be more amenities and business companies in the rural areas and
thus
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promote the municipal incomes.
Secondly
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, large-scale malls moving to suburbs can effectively reduce
the
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apply
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land rent and
labor
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labour
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costs; meanwhile, the expenditures saved can be allocated to expanded space to accommodate more products and improve the quality of commodities.
Consequently
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,
this
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will reduce the commercial density in the city
center
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centre
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and upgrade the consumption experience. Since the variety of products can be greatly increased and the area of the frozen food section can be expanded to provide fresher ingredients.  In conclusion, I strongly agree that transforming shopping malls to the outskirts has more merits than its drawbacks.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to make your main points clearer and ensure each paragraph focuses strongly on one idea.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, showing good overall structure.
Task Achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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