IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In many cities, problems related to overpopulation are becoming more common. Some governments are now encouraging businesses and individuals to move out of cities to rural areas. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Overpopulation has become an ever-increasing issue these days,
however
Linking Words
 authorities motivate people to migrate to villages from urban
areas
Use synonyms
.
This
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 trend has many benefits
realted
Correct your spelling
related
 to public health and controlling congestion in cities;
then
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 it's drawbacks.
This
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 essay will discuss how
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of
this
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 trend outweigh its disadvantages.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 and foremost advantage of encouraging businesses and individuals to move to rural
areas
Use synonyms
 from cities is combating traffic congestion, which improves
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of life in cities. With fewer individuals living in urban centres, there will be less traffic congestion,
due to
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 which cars emit less pollution and reduce the amount of carbon footprints.
Second
Add an article
The second
A second
show examples
 benefit of motivating people to
set-up
Correct your spelling
set up
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 their
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 in villages is economic development. Businesses provide better employment opportunities to people,
also
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this
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 will help to improve infrastructure and public services in underdeveloped regions.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the primary disadvantage of
this
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 trend is potential isolation and there are
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 facilities in
rular
Correct your spelling
rural
areas
Use synonyms
. Children are unable to get
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
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 education because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of access to well-advanced technologies in villages. What's more? Environmental degradation is another aspect, as setting up new buildings and businesses requires
destruction
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the destruction
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 of plants which will lead to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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detrimental impacts on
ecosystem
Correct article usage
the ecosystem
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 and biodiversity. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are some downsides of migration from urban
areas
Use synonyms
 to rural, the advantages outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 including increased economic growth.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly outline both advantages and disadvantages in separate sections to improve clarity.
task achievement
Support your ideas with specific examples to strengthen your argument and make your points clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Provide smoother transitions between points to enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Revise the grammar and spelling to avoid errors that may distract the reader.
task achievement
You identified both advantages and disadvantages, which shows an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly states the focus of the essay, which sets a good direction for your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overpopulation
  • urban congestion
  • quality of life
  • pollution
  • infrastructure
  • public services
  • economic development
  • job opportunities
  • local economies
  • affordable housing
  • standard of living
  • well-being
  • isolation
  • amenities
  • healthcare
  • education facilities
  • entertainment facilities
  • community ties
  • social networks
  • environmental degradation
  • ecosystems
  • biodiversity
  • development
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