Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?

There is no denying the fact that supporting kids to get part-

time

Use synonyms

jobs has become a popular thing among people.

While

Linking Words

it is a commonly held belief that encouraging kids to work is beneficial for them. There is

also

Linking Words

an argument that working

children

Use synonyms

in their free

time

Use synonyms

will have negative effects in the future.

Change preposition

This

show examples

this

Linking Words

essay will analyse

this

Linking Words

topic from both points of view and express my opinion. ‏On one hand, many people believe that getting

children

Use synonyms

part-

time

Use synonyms

jobs will make them independent.

In other words

Linking Words

, students who used to work since childhood

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can depend on themselves when they live alone or travel abroad.

In addition

Linking Words

, they can get skills of experience and make money because both skills are more important in their future.

For example

Linking Words

, students who have education with work experience are more lucky to get convenient jobs than others who do not

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

. ‏

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people believe that

children

Use synonyms

should be focusing on their study than working because that will distract them during their studies.

Moreover

Linking Words

, free

time

Use synonyms

for play and doing activities will help them back to studying with high energy and excitement.

For instance

Linking Words

, staying a long

time

Use synonyms

at school and doing homework are boring for the kids but when they watch TV or play video games in their free hour that gives them energy and a sense of comfort. ‏In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

Linking Words

question. On balance,

however

Linking Words

, I tend to believe that free

time

Use synonyms

for

children

Use synonyms

to play and do hobbies is better than getting a job.

Royallzed077Sun May 25 2025

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task achievement

Make sure each main point is well-developed with examples and explanations.

coherence and cohesion

Try to have a clearer structure. Use more linking words to connect your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Improve your introduction and conclusion to better frame your argument.

task achievement

The essay presents both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

responsibility
punctuality
work ethic
financial literacy
budgeting
time management
work experience
career prospects
independence
self-esteem
communication
interpersonal skills
academic responsibilities
school performance
hobbies
relaxation
well-being
stress
fatigue
premature adulthood
childhood experiences

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write a leferral letter
I am writing to refer Mrs. Patricia Adams, a 53-year-old patient, with a 3-month history of additive symmetrical polyarthritis, who is suspected to have rheumatoid arthritis. She requires your further assessment and management for the best diagnosis and treatment plan.

Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

An increasing number of professionals, such as, teachers and doctors are leaving their own countries to work in developed countries. What are the causes of this problems? What solutions can you suggest?

Some believe that people should make efforts to fight climate change while others think it is better to learn to live with it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In some city public parks and open spaces are being changed into garden where local residents can grow own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The advancement of internet technology means people do not need to travel to foreign countries to understand how people in other places live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

write a leferral letter