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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
The table shows information about the
population
Use synonyms
 of two countries namely
Australia
Use synonyms
 and Malaysia in two years, 1980 and 2002. Units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total
population
Use synonyms
 of people in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and Malaysia was
hgher
Correct your spelling
higher
 in 2002 compared to 1980
where
Correct word choice
when
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 the
population
Use synonyms
 in both countries was lower. The birth rate and mean annual
population
Use synonyms
 growth rate were the same in
Australia
Use synonyms
 in 2002.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
population
Use synonyms
 of men and women in these two countries were very similar.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
male
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the male
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 and female
Use synonyms
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 had similar proportions with values of 49.9% and 50.1% respectively. The total
population
Use synonyms
 of both men and women in
Australia
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 increased by a little under 5%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
population
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 of elderly people above 65 years of age grew from 9.6% to 12.4% in 1980 and 2002.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the total
population
Use synonyms
 of men and women in Malaysia were almost the same with just
0.3
Correct article usage
a 0.3
show examples
% difference.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, australia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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