IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, a small number of people have extremely high annual incomes. These people should be required to pay a much higher rate of income tax. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In multiple nations,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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very few number of individuals have exceptionally high net worth and yearly earnings. Many people would highly agree that these people are liable to pay a higher proportion of
income
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tax
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. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will share my point of view, and personally, I agree with the point that
high net worth
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high-net-worth
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 individuals are required to pay a much higher rate of
income
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tax
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. Fundamentally, in most countries, wealth is divided 97:3;
this
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 means 3% of the population has 97% of the wealth and vice versa. For the development of any
country
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, the government requires funds; these rich individuals play a significant role in its betterment.
Higher
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Higher-income
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income
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tax
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 will contribute to the
country
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's infrastructure, education,
defense
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defence
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, health, technology, and so on.
For instance
Linking Words
, America is considered a world leader, and the reason behind its position is that
,
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apply
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 post-WWII, the
country
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's top 3% came forward to build the nation with respect to infrastructure, education, technology,
defense
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defence
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, and entertainment.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, imposing a higher rate of
income
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tax
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 on people who are earning moderately or below the average
income
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 will create an economic imbalance.
Additionally
Linking Words
, if a
country
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's leaders or the
country
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 itself is wealthy and has other resources, it can impose an equal proportion of
income
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tax
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 on its population.
For instance
Linking Words
, the United Arab Emirates has imposed an equal amount of
income
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tax
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 on its public, irrespective of
income
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 range. In my strong opinion, the top earners—employers, employees, business owners, entrepreneurs, industrialists, and high-net-worth individuals—are required to pay higher
income
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 taxes for the development of any
country
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, rather than imposing higher
income
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 taxes on the
country
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's middle-class earning segment.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay into clear paragraphs that each focus on one main point. This helps the reader follow your ideas easily.
task achievement
Try to give more detailed examples or explain how they support your main points. This will strengthen your argument and make it clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Consider adding a brief summary in your conclusion that reinforces your main points. This helps to remind the reader of your argument.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion stated in the introduction, which is important for a good essay.
task achievement
You used relevant examples which illustrate your argument well, such as the case of America and the UAE.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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