In many countries, a small number of people earn extreamly high salaries.Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that Governments should not allow salaries above a criteria level. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic → Introduction
In
like South Africa or the
a small number of
earn extremely high
. Many believe that
is good for the country, whilst others argue that governments should regulate salaries above a certain criteria level. In
essay, I want to illustrate both opinions and why
iChange the capitalization
show examples
believe governmental interference can be dangerous.
Body paragraph 1
In many
, one
percentChange the spelling
show examples
of the population
earnCorrect subject-verb agreement
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99% of all the
.
contrast is not only shown in poor
like South Africa or India, but
in wealthy
SatesCorrect your spelling
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like the USA or China.
,
is
high earners
able to let their
work for them and accumulate even more.
Body paragraph 2
motivates
to make new products, invest
intoChange preposition
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the
and
buy new produce.
, the economy gets boosted and is able to grow, which stabilizes a
countriesChange noun form
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income and improves
lifestyle.
Body paragraph 3
, the thought that a small number of
that earn
high
salaryFix the agreement mistake
show examples
is
for a country, makes a lot of sense, as those
can manage the
and make improvements that
wouldn´t be possible.
Body paragraph 4
, distributing
only between a few individuals can have the consequence that the majority is not able to have any influence on the
and
haveCorrect subject-verb agreement
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to live with the decisions of the minority. If governments would set a salary limit,
would be distributed more evenly and many high earners would stop raising prices out of greed.
Body paragraph 5
,
would
demotivate many
to work above a certain threshold, which in return weakens the economy and technological advancement.
Body paragraph 6
to
, most
would
spentChange the verb form
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their
rather than invest it or
safeReplace the word
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it
onChange preposition
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a bank account for bigger purchases. Both
isChange the verb form
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bad for a thriving community.
Body paragraph 7
In conclusion,
many
think it is fair that a small
amountChange the quantifier
show examples
of
earn very high salaries, it is mandatory for a
countriesChange noun form
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future and motivates humans to invest in new technology and
.
Conclusion
I firmly believe
,Remove the comma
show examples
the
manages itself and if the government intervenes
toReplace the word
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much it weakens business for everyone.
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Your introduction clearly states both views, but your thesis statement could be more precise about which position you hold.
Make sure to proofread your work to fix spelling errors, like 'extremely' and 'available', as they affect clarity.
Use linking words more effectively to connect your ideas smoothly. Phrases like 'On the other hand' and 'In addition to this' are good, but there could be more variety.
You present a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is important for this type of essay.
Your conclusion does a good job of summarizing your main point and re-stating your opinion clearly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.