IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter describe the situation explain your problems and why it is difficult to work say what kind of accommodation you would prefer You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam

Dear Sir, I hope you are doing well. I am writing to bring to your attention the challenges I am currently facing in the hostel's room-sharing arrangement. I am sharing my room with Mahesh, a guy from the Mechanical Engineering department. The major problem we are both dealing with is
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 completely different class schedules. My classes are scheduled from 8 AM to 2 PM and
his
Change the pronoun
he
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 is from 4 PM to 7 PM. Whenever
,
Remove the comma
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 I came back from university and intended to rest for some time, he prepared to leave and
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 disturbance
caused
Verb problem
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,
resulting
Wrong verb form
resulted
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 in an inadequate amount of rest.
Similarly
Linking Words
, He used to work late at night and sleep
accordingly
Linking Words
 and in the mornings when I leave he gets disturbed. If
this
Linking Words
 lack of sleep and rest continues,
then
Linking Words
 it will affect our grades in a negative manner. I want you to provide me with
a
Correct article usage
apply
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personal accommodation so that I can focus more on my studies and score good marks every semester. I am looking forward to hearing back from your side. Thanks, Mohit

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Task Achievement
Try to provide a clearer description of the problems you face. Adding more details can help.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea for better flow.
Task Achievement
Use a more formal greeting such as 'Dear Accommodation Officer' for a better tone.
Task Achievement
You clearly stated your situation and the problems you face, which is good.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your closing statement is polite and invites a response, which is effective.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

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