IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Banking and funding and their role in our life. Methods of paying. Discuss why it is important to open a bank account. Do you think it is safe to keep all your money in a bank? Which payment method do you prefer?

life . Nowadays ,
no body
Correct your spelling
nobody
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 can live without
Use synonyms
bank
Add an article
a bank
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account
Use synonyms
 or to have a credit card , but why
? .
Change the punctuation
?
.
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This
Linking Words
 essay will show the
necessary
Replace the word
necessity
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 of
the
Correct article usage
a
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bank
Use synonyms
account
Use synonyms
 , why
people
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 have to get one , the security of the
banks
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 and the best way to pay .
To begin
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 with , over
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time having a
bank
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account
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 become more important for all
people
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 ,children before adults .
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , in.
Correct article usage
the 21
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21
Correct your spelling
21st
 century no one can walk without having a
bank
Use synonyms
account
Use synonyms
 , the reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that
people
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 can receive and pay easily .
For example
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 , paying
employees
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employees'
employee's
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salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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 can be
automatically
Add a missing verb
done automatically
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 ,
also
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 friends can transfer
money
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 to each other in seconds.
In addition
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 , having a
bank
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account
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 is the safer way to keep your
money
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 in a
save
Replace the word
safe
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 place .
In other words
Linking Words
 , the
banks
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 have a strong security system no one can destroy it ,
Linking Words
besides
Correct word choice
apply
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they take
the
Correct article usage
apply
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responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
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people
Use synonyms
’s
money
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 .
Moreover
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, if
some thing
Correct your spelling
something
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happen
Change the verb form
happens
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 to your
money
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 , they will get your
money
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 back .
Therefore
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, in my perspective the best way to pay is to pay with a credit card which
people
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 get
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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from the
banks
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 , it makes buying things more comfortable . To demonstrate more ,
people
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 just have to tap a device with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 credit card to
do
Verb problem
make
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 the payment .
To sum up
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 ,
people
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 can not
dispensable
Add a missing verb
be dispensable
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 with
banks
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 or
having
Wrong verb form
have
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bank
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
account
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
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 and it is predominantly in our life . It makes life easier. , flexible and safer.
Mean
Correct your spelling
Meanwhile
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while
Linking Words
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
have been
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 using cash in recent days .

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay should have a clearer introduction and conclusion. Try to summarize your main points at the end.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and explanations to support your ideas. This will help readers understand your points better.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with grammar and spelling. Mistakes can make your ideas hard to understand. Please proofread your work before finishing.
task achievement
You have some good ideas about the importance of bank accounts and payment methods.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial institutions
  • Safeguarding
  • Facilitating transactions
  • Online banking
  • Direct deposits
  • Fraud protection
  • Digital payments
  • Economic growth
  • Financial security
  • Intermediaries
  • Credit availability
  • Investment opportunities
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